MontagFoto 9.12.11—Squirtpaulets

This November, 2005 photo of squirtmistresses Angie Stone (L.) and Cytherea, pausing after anointing the shoulders of erstwhile KSEX host and peripatetic porn publicist Harry Weiss, stirs up many feelings in me.

One of them involves Angie Stone. Long before the modern era of parodies, I thought she would be the ideal choice for Chief Brody’s wife in a porn version of “Jaws,” as she looks like a porny Lorraine Gary. “Jaws” is made for porn, what with its associations with vagina dentata, the presence of a character named Quint, and the sample dialogue:

You go in the cage. Cage goes in the water. Squirt’s in the water. Our squirts.

The other has something to do with the fact that, by 2005, I had been writing about porn on and off for three years already. And here it is, six years after that. Cytherea has already had two new kids and got two new boobs. We’ve all changed.

Next, I look at Harry Weiss and think: He’s got the sunglasses on inside and the goatee and the backwards baseball hat, is probably in his late 40’s in this picture…there’s got to be a certain percentage of humanity who thinks Harry’s got it made, flanked by two naked women and rocking squirtpaulets. How does that percentage compare with the remainder of the population?

[UPDATE: Weiss says he was in his early 40’s in that picture. “I just looked aged from managing porn girls,” he says.]

What do the trio’s facial expressions say about their willingness to be there?

I also think, if Stone and Cytherea are angels leaving their marks on Harry’s shoulder, who is the bad one, who is the good one and—most importantly—whose advice did Harry follow?

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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