MontagFoto 9.19.11—Areolae Havana fun yet?

This may shock you (just as Havana Ginger’s areolae seem to give pause to Sascha and Kimberly Franklin), but porn often follows trends. That is why SexZ Pictures once released a movie based on the Paris Hilton catchphrase “That’s Hot” and why I arrived at director Paul Thomas’s house in November, 2006 to watch the filming of a movie titled “Metrosexual.”

While I was pretty sure at the time that “Metrosexual” was not the ideal title for a straight porn movie, I was a guest in Thomas’s tasteful and elegant Marina Del Rey home, I was one of very few people invited to Vivid sets, and I felt that Ginger’s frank brown areolae were going to draw me in like the Mars Rover to their spongy surface, so I kept silent to watch the magic happen.

After a few minutes I left, because I, like an Elf, was called away by the western Sea.

I never saw the finished film, but I am happy to report that it now goes by the forgettable but not-as-easily-dated title “City Sex.”

Here is my imagined interview with Thomas for “City Sex.”

Grams: So, “City Sex”…

PT: Yes!

Grams: Are people having sex in cities more, do you think?

PT: It’s no longer the time of Jefferson, where America was 90 percent agrarian. The majority of the population lives in cities now, and it follows that they would copulate there.

Grams: Are there a lot of scenes of people fucking on tall buildings, in subways, and urban-associated surfaces like hot dog carts and floors of homeless shelters?

PT: No, but a lot of beds.

Grams: What makes this movie different from any other porn movie?

PT: This interview’s over.

Grams: But it’s my Seder!

I’m glad that the Porno-Industrial Complex sometimes has changes of heart. It is by these occasional bits of good fortune that we were spared the “That’s So Raven” porn parody.

• Buy “City Sex” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Friday fusillade of filth
See also: Vivid