More Like Temporarily “Wet Tits,” but whatever—they’re still tits

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Perhaps the biggest surprise of this movie—other than the fact that the tits dry off so fast—is that there weren’t more movies called “Wet Tits.”

wettits16I was primarily interested in the method(s) by which Yurizan Beltran, Julia Ann, Krissy Lynn, et al used to moisturize their breasts, but admit I was glad that, even if the tits in question did not retain their liquid sheen, that they were big enough so the viewer might assume the water was just hiding.

Yurizan uses baby oil, liberally applied by John Strong on her fleshy, natural boobs. I worried about the bedspread, though; it takes a while for baby oil to come out.

Krissy Lynn also employs baby oil, this time squirted on her tits by Billy Glide. It looks to be the same brand of baby oil as that used on Yurizan—maybe the same bottle!

By the time I get to Tiffany Tyler, Courtney Taylor, and Julia Ann, I have skipped around a little, and the baby oil squirting seems to have lost whatever ceremony it once had. Furthermore, it appears that, once the oil has been applied, that these ladies’ gentleman callers lose all interest in the titular objects of the movie.

This movie should have been called “Women with Large Breasts Whose Breasts Are Temporarily Moistened Prior to Fucking, And Then Forgotten About.”

But I haven’t forgotten.

Even though Yurizan Beltran’s scene makes her appear as if she would rather be somewhere else, I could watch those breasts all day, wet or not. My affection, like all ten of these breasts, eventually, isn’t slippery.

Buy “Wet Tits” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Pornografica en Espanol? Si se puede!; “Put Your Stupid Mouth on My Mudflaps”—”The Vagina Monologues”
See also: Zero Tolerance

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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