(I am holding hostage a poetess from a local residency program from whom I’m demanding subject headings in exchange for creampies.)
Holly Randall is one of a handful of porn photographers who can make her living as an independent contractor. She’ll set up photo shoots with models and peddle the stills and video components to the highest and/or most appropriate bidder. Last week she brought a small crew, including a makeup artist, wardrobe mistress, lighting rigger, and production assistant to a by-turns gaudy and ramshackle McMansion in Bel-Air where she shot a layout with the newly-boobed Teagan and the dangerous Roxy DeVille.
Teagan was the star of the day, having recently dropped the “Presley” from her porn name as well as replaced her old breast implants with some new, eye-popping ones. She got them for $7k from a famous doctor in Florida.
“He gave us a break,” she said, referring to either herself and her boobs or herself and her boyfriend. “And when I run, they bounce.”
Teagan is tiny and disproportionately arresting. Out of makeup, she sat folded up in a robe. Once in her lacy underthings, hair teased, made up, she transformed into the perfectly-posed porn star whose picture has been taken a million times. Putting on the heels was like flipping a switch, and the energy that accompanied that was considerable.
On sets I talk with the people who signal that they want to talk, so I didn’t talk with Teagan too much. But she was very nice.
Randall shot Teagan mostly ascending and descending a spiral staircase that stretched around a horrible urn. Why anyone would do this in real life I don’t know, but the people who owned the house loved this six-foot urn so much that they placed it in the entryway of their home, so what do I know? You walk into my house, there’s a table with food and books on it. It says, “Come in! Read something! Eat something! You look stupid and skinny!” At this house the urn said, “Here are the ashes of my Turkish enemies.”
Most of the things Roxy DeVille said cannot be uttered here because they would destroy lives, but if there is an extra seat at your cocktail party, you should really invite her. She is like Oscar Wilde with a Chicago accent who likes to fuck women.
DeVille recently appeared in the Sex And the City movie with Ryder Skye, but I found her most compelling in Rob Rotten’s Texas Vibrator Massacre. I asked her if she would consider being a scream queen full time.
“I would totally be a scream queen,” she said. “But on weekends. People want me to be in their T&A slasher movies and I’m fine with that, but if you can’t expect me to work for three months and not get paid for it. I’ll do your movie if you’re not keeping me from work that actually pays me.”
I was reminded of Ava Rose, whose Hollywood neighborhood is teeming with 23-year-old actress hopefuls who look like her but who don’t have her steady job. Conventional wisdom is that all porn actresses want to be Hollywood actresses, but that is just not true. Porn is uncertain enough without trading it for something with no certainty whatsoever and that fits the dictionary description of a money hemorrhage.
DeVille’s job today, as it is many days, was to don a dominatrix outfit and put her booted foot on people, and today Teagan was her surface.
After Randall finished with Teagan, DeVille was out of wardrobe and makeup and the two performers leashed up and posed in the opulently uninviting living room. Randall shot much more beautiful pictures than these, but she is a fantasist, and I am, as you well know, a hard-nosed realist. I am like Dorothea Lange and porn is my Dust Bowl. (But I would give that up if I could be Jaws the shark and Roxy DeVille could be my Quint.)
(That’s two “Jaws” references this week. I don’t know why I didn’t notice how dirty “Quint” sounded before.)
With DeVille in her domme gear and Teagan as a French maid (“People told me about your ass, Girl, but seeing is believing,” DeVille said to Teagan. “That’s an ass“), Randall snapped away. Who knows what high-end publication they might appear in, aimed at discerning gentlemen who think of California and picture homes crawling with urns, dommes, and scantily-clad maids with multi-thousand-dollar boob jobs?
“My job is just to make them look really pretty,” Randall said.
See my Holly Randall/Teagan/Roxy DeVille backstage gallery here.
Previously: Holly Randall has always been a pervert; Backstage at the XBiz Awards: A Night of Heroes; Roxy DeVille: Good couches make good neighbors; I am Teagan Presley (I am not Teagan Presley); Teagan distances herself from La Sad Eyes
See also: Holly Randall
i don’t like Teagan’s new breasts. she actually looks LESS feminine in these pictures to me.
Blasphemy! you obviously are thinking in the outdated “whole person” methodology, when you should be considering each individual $3500 part.