New on Lifetime: “Superslut ‘n’ Sophie”

As you know, I am responsible for many of the Lifetime Network’s hit shows, and am often approached by women when they need to cry and wear cableknit sweaters and hold their oversized cups of tea in both hands, or when they become hysterical and beat their tiny fists against my chest, or when they defiantly breastfeed at me, demanding that I accept that their breasts are now magically something else.

So I understand women, and that is why I am pitching “Superslut ‘n’ Sophie” to Lifetime, capitalizing on Bobbi Starr’s recent Superslut honor at the XRCOs and Sophie Dee’s homespun Welsh wisdom.

Here’s the pitch:

“Superslut and Sophie are hard-living private detectives approaching 30 who decide to open a doughnut shop to help their communities. Along the way they learn about life, love, and each other, negotiating each day’s tender victories and setbacks by virtue of Starr’s superb handjobs and Dee’s fabulous rack. A supporting cast of quirky townsfolk like Dana DeArmond and the black men who persist in coming on Sophie’s face keep things interesting, but the real story is the love they bake into each of their doughnuts. And their vaginas. And your hearts.”

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Tees & A; But it’s our clusterfuck; Is Jennie off the cock a cheap trick?