“Next Friday,” I’m in love: That’s right—I shoved a Cure reference into an interracial porn movie. Why? Because it’s my goddamn site, is why

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If all porn is exploitation, then a movie like “Next Friday” is satisfying because all you have to do is watch it and say “Yup.”

friday01Studio: Zero Tolerance
Director: Mike Quasar
Starring: Nat Turnher, Alex Gonz, Ashli Orion, Dsnoop, Jessica Bangkok, Lee Bang, Prince Yahshua, Sophie Dee, Tommy Pistol, Tori Taylor, Veruca James

Mike Quasar’s “Next Friday,” starring hood emigrants Craig (always dependable Nat Turnher) and DeDe (national treasure DSnoop) trying to make their way in whitebread Canoga Park, is filled with just the type of giddy stereotypes that porn was made for.

Turnher, as Craig, marvels at white skater chick/weed dealer Roach (Veruca James) lounging around the house as well as over-the-top Asian divorcee Kim Ho (Jessica Bangkok) strutting poolside next door.

Apparently a felon named Deebo (Prince Yahshua) has a score to settle with Craig, and DSnoop’s uncle (the menacing Lee Bang) has blown all his lotto/house money on hookers like Tori Taylor, so upon move-in Craig must endeavor to save the house whilst fucking his new neighbors (such as the delightful Ashli Orion, sporting a fantastic hood rat accent) and avoiding Deebo’s vengeance.

Among the porn version’s improvements is Roach, who is now a woman. Veruca James suggests she should start stripping to earn some extra cash, and enlists DSnoop as a lapdance trainer in exchange for weed. I find this a compelling and not unrealistic storyline in this part of the world.

Meanwhile director Quasar intercuts Deebo’s progress across the city in search of Craig, menacing various white people on the way. It cost no extra money to film this, and Yahshua just gets to be silly, but it makes the movie so much better.

Other bits of business include a ridiculous exchange between Tommy Pistol, Alex Gonz, and Sophie Dee as gangbangers and their moll, all playing way out of their range. It’s fun, especially when Orion walks in and ups the stakes.

What’s great about this movie is that it was no huge leap to make the stoner comedy a porno, but the cast and crew still don’t waste our time by half-assing it. We even get a resolution that isn’t a cum shot, which I thought was classy.

·Buy “Official Next Friday Parody” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: You can’t put a laugh track on genius—”Facts of Life XXX”; Ass Cube—The “Friday” parody
See also: Zero Tolerance

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