Not Married with Children XXX

Studio: XPlay
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Eric Swiss, Brittany O’Connell, Kagney Linn Karter, Dino Bravo, Dane Cross, India Summer, Brad Hardy, Madison Scott, Brooke Belle, Alyssa Hall, Emy Reyes, Reno, Kora Cummings, Payton Leigh, Barrett Blade, Nick Manning

Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot

“Not Married with Children XXX” is just about the perfect porn parody in that all the things you found frustrating about the 90′s-era Fox show on which it is based (Christina Applegate not getting naked, a certain curiosity about the nakedness of Katey Sagal) come miraculously to pass in its dirty adaptation.

Kagney Linn Karter, Brittany O’Connell, and especially Eric Swiss are perfectly cast as Kelly, Peg, and Al Bundy, respectively, and the source material that for many typified all that was bad about the newish Fox Network (“The Simpsons” parodied “Married with Children” by showing Al Bundy flushing a toilet to a laugh track) actually works in a porn setting.

Eric Swiss as Al Bundy is pretty amazing. He looks genuinely slovenly and one-ups last month’s “Not the Cosbys XXX” star Thomas Ward in that he actually has sex. But both are spot-on impersonations and, like “Cosby,” “Not Married with Children XXX” features a script that is just as good (or bad) as the original.

As adept as screenwriter Jeff Mullen has become at aping sitcom dialogue, co-producer Scott David admirably recreates the “Married with Children” set, and is especially accurate with the costumes for the Bundy family. Kagney Linn Karter, for example, looks every bit the approachable whore that Christina Applegate’s Kelly was.

The plot concerns Al’s attempt to become king of his shoe store, Bud (Dane Cross)’s marginalization in the family, and Kelly’s dalliances with the wrong kind of men. In other words, this is a plot and script that would have been perfect for the original show.

Some of the mainstream programs the Porno-Industrial Complex is choosing to parody are so obscure (and, just as often, unknown to the teenagers performing in them) that it’s a possibility that a broadcast network show could be developed from the cleaned up porn parody of a forgotten 90′s sitcom. If Fox picked up 22 episodes of “Not Married with Children XXX,” I would watch it.

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