Not the Bradys XXX

Studio: Hustler/X-a Play
Director: Will Ryder
Cast: Hillary Scott, Alana Evans, Mike Horner, Lynn LeMay, James Deen, Aurora Snow, Leah Luv, Ron Jeremy, Sunny Lane, Paulina James, Veronique Vega

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

While Not the Bradys XXX is not a porn parody the way The Da Vinci Load was, in that it doesn’t add anything new, only imagines familiar characters having sex, its attention to detail, faithfulness to a “Brady Bunch”-style (but with cumshots) storyline, and – most important for good porn – an instinct to not get in its own way, makes this movie a fun purchase.

In addition, like last year’s The New Neighbors, Not the Bradys XXX features what to porn is a multigenerational cast; Baby Boomer AVN Hall-of-Famers Ron Jeremy, Lynn LeMay, and Mike Horner appear alongside the likes of Alana Evans, a MILF-but-for-a-child at 31, and younglings Hillary Scott and Jasmine Byrne.

From the guerilla exterior shot of the real “Brady Bunch” house in Studio City to the laudable, accurate interior design by Hustler’s staff, Not the Bradys XXX sets new standards for porn ripoffs. And the plot is right out of Mike and Carol’s playbook (again, except for the cumshots):

Mike’s company is losing business and the Not the Bradys are short of cash. The kids of their own accord seek to find employment to stave off ruin. Hillary Scott, as Marcia, applies to be a nude model at the studio of a sleazebag. There she bumps into a friend, Jasmine Byrne, who in turn bumps into Bobby Not Brady. They become ensexed.

Byrne looks good. Too good. I had to look away.

Somewhere in the middle the movie loses coherence. People start having sex randomly. And the promise of a tryst between Lynn LeMay as Alice and Ron Jeremy as Sam the Butcher never materializes. In fact, they never have a seen together. Filmed in a large studio, the voices echo.

The editing is efficient; awkward dialogue passes quickly and the pace is even.

It has become a cliche that the mark of a bad movie is when the last scene reveals that the narrative has all been a dream. But this is porn, and you have but slumbered here. Dream-Marcia fucks her own brother, and it is up to the “Brady Bunch” scholar or the fan who listened to the movie’s theme song to remember that they’re not really related.

I expected not to like this movie because of its abhorrent hype, but it was pretty good, with standout scenes from Byrne, Scott, Aurora Snow (with Tee Real), and Mike Horner and Alana Evans. Attempts at humor were mercifully short and not distracting.

A real treat of this movie was the background footage. Ron Jeremy talks about the danger of Viagra for young men and an incident in Mallorca where he had to fuck a woman in the ass who was vomiting. (The interview is more compelling than I’m making it sound.)

Not the Bradys XXX is a solid porn movie with A-list talent and lots of worthwhile extras. If the same crew wanted to plunder for porn inspiration that other Sherwood Schwartz gem, “Gilligan’s Island”, I wouldn’t chain myself to the camera.