That Not Kurt Lockwood wrote a very funny latently homosexual rant on PornOhs is one thing, but I would really like to believe that Not Kurt Lockwood also wrote this, er, rebuttal and denial to AVN. Why do I wish this to be so? Because it’s dumb:
“Dear AVN
I need your help. Some cowardly, self-loathing, loser posted a rather lengthy and really disgustingly homophobic rant on one of the hate-ridden “gossip” sites and said they were me. (I don’t want to give it any press here. E-mail me and I will give you the link.) I DID NOT WRITE THIS! Usually, I would just ignore these haters as I am too busy actually shooting movies nearly everyday in this business or too busy celebrating my one year anniversary living with my girlfriend, SAMANTHA RYAN, but this new low of actually STEALING MY IDENTITY went too far. I just found out about this today and I guess whatever hater posted this, did so to try to influence AVN voting. I have friends like Vivid Director Chi Chi La Rue and Playgirl Dir. Kelly Holland’s P.M. Jim Steele who are both openly gay and whom I consider friends and would not want them offended by this purile garbage from this imposter. Thanks for listening.
Sincerely
The REAL Kurt Lockwood
P.S. If you or anybody reading this can e-mail me as to any possible legal steps I can take towards this gossip site and its owners for slander or identity theft please send them to Kurt@KurtLockwood.com.”
Someone is trying to destroy Kurt Lockwood and it is either Not Kurt Lockwood or Kurt Lockwood.
(image swiped from Lurk Ford.)
Gram, you are indeed the man.
You pirouette and tiptoe through the crowded ballroom of porn valley in your powder blue ballet slippers, stepping on toes indiscriminately. Despite your large and unwieldy frame, your steps are as those of a kitten. Your prey neither hears the approach or tracks your retreat.
You are the Jay Leno of Porn Journalism
ps. what do all the Hebrew words in the verification thing mean? Have I agreed to my childrens circumcision?
Leave the circumcision to me: it is a service I provide all my readers. And yeah, the word verification keeps out the riff raff. Or some of the riff raff.
Today my word was “bfogbsy”.
Babelfish has nothing for bfogsby but that’s beside the point. To post this I gotta type “slekehs05” and I’m wondering if you take paypal.
Oh My God it’s all true. Unmasked so close to Halloween. All I really wanted was to be accepted by message boards. I guess it’s back to panhandling outside the Harvard Square Au Bon Pain for me. Oddly enough, my journal entry for today says Must Try Less.