Officials: Bin Laden had porn stash, killed thousands of people

Among the unsubstantiated tidbits leaked by unnamed U.S. “officials” this week was that Osama bin Laden was found to have possessed a “fairly extensive” porn stash in his Abottabad compound.

Reuters cited current and former officials, who said that the pornography “consists of modern, electronically recorded video.”

Finally, we have solid evidence to discredit him. Mark my words: coming weeks will find that compound filled with all sorts of convenient stuff, like Valentine’s Day cards from Karl Rove and Manny Ramirez, Mitt Romney’s Yemeni birth certificate, and documents absolving the 1919 Chicago White Sox from any wrongdoing.

Clearly this information was leaked to make bin Laden appear a hypocrite to fundamentalist devotees, but should this news further sully his reputation to educated, urbane people like us?

Why would a former official be in on this data? And what does “fairly extensive” mean?

Frankly, I shudder to think what OBL would have done without the porn. That said, I am as certain as an unnamed U.S. official that bin Laden was watching a pirated copy of my “Facts of Life XXX” at the time of his death.

Oh, and while we’re pinning things on the dead guy, there is evidence to suggest that he ran Porn Wikileaks, too.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: A Porn Valley Odyssey: Making “The Facts of Life XXX”
See also: Bin Laden hideout had extensive porn stash, officials say

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

3 Comments

  1. I’ve heard that he had a full collection of “Big Wet Asses,” including “Big Black Wet Asses.” Also, he was rather fond of “Dirtpipe Milkshakes,” but really – who isn’t?

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