Our tax dollars at work: “Mug Shots” and the County Cum Department

With all the red light cameras, speed traps, and opportunistic parking fine scams perpetrated by the City of Los Angeles (really? I’ll get a ticket for parking after the street cleaner has gone by?), I am not at all surprised that Jenna Haze and dozens of others have been penalized (!) for “Excessive use of tongue” by an entity called the Los Angeles County Department of Cum.

“Mug Shots” is a compilation of several dozen women taking it in the face from Tom Byron. But if you expected tense police standoffs followed by facial popshots, as suggested by the cover, you will be disappointed.

Indeed, there are no crimes aside from the fact that L.A. appears to have both a Department of Cum and a Cum Department, and that Byron now and then overshoots the mark and soils his own rug. And that rug really tied the room together.

But why quibble? “Mug Shots” delivers  Jenna Haze, Lexi Belle, Tatiana Kush, Charley Chase, Chastity Lynn, Amber Rayne and Sunny Lane, Julia Ann, Kagney Linn Karter, and Rachel Love, among others, all doing their best to coax from Byron just a little bit more of that substance that says “It’s all right,” “I still love you,” and “God Damn I hate condoms.”

We leave the movie feeling happy for Tom Byron, sorry for his rug, and curious about a bureaucracy that has a Department of Cum but that can’t fix a damn pothole.

  • Buy “Mug Shots” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Why “Fleshlightning” is better than “Battlefield Earth”; Fellatio makes the heart grow fonder; The Deeper the Quicksand (or so I have read); Today in Porn Valley restrooms; Her name is Chastity, for some reason
See also: Tom Byron

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist


  1. No lie, there’s just something about a photo of Lexi Belle with a cock in her mouth that inevitably improves my day. No lie.

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