Because I don’t leave my home, am morbidly obese, and eat nothing but cheese fries from a disused satellite dish I swiped from the abandoned lawn of Wang Labs, I didn’t know how to pronounce Gen Padova’s last name the way her fans do. It’s pronounced Puh-DOE’-vah, so the whole name comes out nicely, the [...]

I went to the Simon Wolf Kinky Sex party last night and I must tell you that the Rokbar kicks fucking ass. Excellent music and great video projections. I fear, though, that Tommy Lee’s establishment is not the type of place someone like me would be able to get in unless I was already on [...]

My pal Bad Ass Frank has become a straight up Baltimore P.I.M.P. In addition to shooting his first movie, Bad Ass Girls’ Club, with Hailey Young, Tricia Oaks, and Jessica Hanson, BAF recently signed Brooklyn and Joanna Angel to guard him when he sleeps. The gonzo will feature these three as well as other models [...]

I will not say that Sunny Lane and her manager mom came over and made a Gram sandwich in order to secure a mention on this site (1.) because that would be untrue and (2.) because I’d probably do it anyway. The virginal (relative to this business) Lane is being touted as a Best New [...]

If Goofus and Gallant were strippers, who would be who in these mugshots? Gallant makes the best of a bad situation, facing adversity with a winning smile. Goofus accepts defeat immediately and won’t even wash the cum out of her eye.

It will affect neither the stellar service nor the attendance at Sardo’s if I say that last night’s Porn Star Karaoke was a little off. Wankus was angry for reasons undisclosed, Robyn Rosenberg announced she’d fallen in love with an aircraft mechanic over the Internet, and would no longer pursue Lurk Ford, who was chastised [...]

As you know, the Church of Ponantology forbids the use of sex-enhancing musks, jellies, attachments, or court orders, but I was fascinated by this ad for Vigorect, an oral gel officially condoned by the Realm of Gondor. “The blood of Numenor will not fail again,” claims the makers of Vigorect. “Vigorect’s active key ingredient – [...]

Tonight Porn Star Karaoke is being sponsored by Land Madel Lisa Sparxxx and Hellbound Productions. I have never heard of Hellbound Productions but I can get behind anything with the word “Hell” in it. Why? Because I am a 13-year-old boy. The Hellbound team will be giving away a 27″ TV and a $100 discount [...]

Director Stoney Curtis says that some of the performers in Built for Sex 3 actually spit at the camera, like some kind of sex camel. “The girls will talk to the camera and even spit on it from time to time which is really great for the home viewing experience,” said the Lethal Hardcore director. [...]

Doc Johnson, official marital aid of the crews docked in the International Space Station, has unveiled its own brand of Vivid blowup dolls. These employ technology often found in high-tech bakeries to superimpose a Vivid Girl’s face onto the standard chassis of a blowup doll. “…allowing a person to look directly into the eyes of [...]

As anyone who has ever met me knows, I am a highly-stylized, erotic person. That is why next Thursday’s event at Hollywood’s Erotic Museum sounds like it will be fun. The Museum will be featuring two debuts and one booksigning that night. SEX ED 102: Progressive Sex Theory from the Free-Love Era displays educational material [...]

Colossal Entertainment has released Drunk on Cum in distinctive foiled packaging with a brand new Cum font. I believe it was the great Thomas Jefferson who said that he might not be turned on by a woman drinking semen from something other than the two standard receptacles (the source and off her philtrum), but he [...]

I consulted Porn Valley uberagent Mark Spiegler and Teutonic firebrand Katja Kassin (pictured) about something that has been troubling me for a while. Seeing how the Germans have been able to sum up in one word concepts that would require several in English, like schadenfraude (pleasure at someone else’s misfortune) and fahrvegnugen (pleasure in the [...]

Both Dependable Skeleton and Steve Ochs have hipped me in recent days to the – sadly – abandoned art of Flirty Fishing, in which Children of God/The Family cult members would act as prostitutes to win souls. The resulting “Jesus Babies” proliferated through the 90s. Inspired by a passage from the Gospel of Matthew, in [...]