You know how there’s no atheists in foxholes? That has nothing to do with barrio bitches and their buttholes.

Gram Ponante reviews “Skip Trace 2,” featuring some giddily violent scenes between Nacho Vidal, Charley Chase, and Jynx Maze

“Well, we’re good girls,” says underpantsless Lisa, “but whatever we can’t give you, we make up in enthusiasm.”

At the devices of Rebecca Reynolds, Julie Simone gets redder and redder still in “50 Shades of Red,” a fine bit of revenge bondage that involves so much candle wax and slapping that you’d swear you were home for the holidays.

…So where is our “Rats in a maze, men in a cage” movie extrapolated from that quip in “Tango & Cash” and starring Katsuni in the porn version?

“It’s not going to change anyone’s life, but (North Korea’s space program) is solid, (and) strokeable,” Ochs says.

Somehow these pictures of Natasha Nice make me recall fireplaces, and spiked apple cider, and what’s going on underneath your girlfriend’s parka.

A pornographer who was an unlikely political activist, Riccardo Schicchi, 60, directed Cicciolina in “The Red Telephone,” Italy’s first hardcore film.

This scene from “Debbie Does Dallas” made me wonder if David Suton made it out alive.

In the middle of the California desert, beautiful women frolic on sensual furniture. We wonder: Who took the rest of their stuff? But then we think: If they’re happy, we’re happy.

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that the 5-scene spirit stick endeavor “That Horny Little Chearleader” made me think of Walter Matthau shaking his fist on his lawn.

A recently-released study published in the Journal of Sex Research might help to deflate some persistent beliefs about the women who appear in porn films: it turns out that—for the most part—they’re just like you.

I don’t think something horrible in Flower Tucci’s vagina made Sasha Grey leave porn.

Sadly, my copy of Dana Vespoli’s “Older Women, Younger Girls 2″ suffered the excesses of my enthusiasm and was rendered unusable. So I had to make up what I thought the beautiful Julia Ann and Dani Daniels were saying in this Saphtastic scene.