There is nothing Digital Playground can’t do.
With the recent news that Pirates was successfully edited down to receive an “R” rating from the MPAA, the gang at the Van Nuys compound got to work.
“How can we possibly get more publicity out of Pirates,” they asked themselves, “a movie that is now 17 years old?”
The answer dovetailed nicely with Digital Playground’s aim to ensure Jesse Jane is adored by fans of all ages for generations to come: the movie was sliced, diced, and manipulated into the safe waters of a G rating.
How did that happen?
“The film is now two minutes long and appears to be about the CGI skeletons,” a source within the organization did not enthuse. “Janine’s line has been reduced from ‘Now lick it’ to “it’.”
Jesse Jane, who catted around sticking candles in people’s asses in the critically-acclaimed XXX version, has been replaced by a Muppet who sticks candles in people’s asses.
“P is for Puss-ee-ah-ow,” Muppet Jane says, “That’s good enough for me.”
It has been widely reported that Digital Playground has not made a new movie in at least three years, relying on publicity from Pirates and several thousand scenes Robby D. shot through a pane of glass in 1972.
The company is hoping to trump itself with its next feature.
Island Fever 4, which just wrapped production, will travel the same route as Pirates with an even more aggressive advertising campaign that will involve Sophia Santi Happy Meals, a school currriculum tie-in involving estuaries and tidal pools, and a traveling Tera Patrick quilt.
Previously: Swallow the yellow thick load; How I saved Digital Playground; Pirates review
See also: Digital Playground, Adam & Eve
Leave a Reply