The Leading Lady of the Lubed Labe is leaving to pursue perfumery. To my knowledge, no one has talked about her new career choice, focusing only on Ms. Jameson’s method of jettisoning the old one. Here’s the shtick I’ll use when I cross the picket line and talk about Porn Valley on Leno:
Directions for Use
1. Apply across breasts, in eye, in hair, on small of back. If taken vaginally, squeeze out slowly into champagne cup and share with Kami Andrews.
2. Spray, take nap, eat meal, wait six hours, spray again.
3. If sprayed in mouth, spit. If sprayed in mouth and no camera is present and if married, swallow.
Q. Is that the perfume that makes you come on your Wheaties?
A. No, that’s Bruce Jenna.
Top Ten Alternate Titles for the Jenna Jameson Fragrance
- Jenna Presents William Butler Yeast
- Chatsworth Hoedown
- Eau de Tito
- Rub Jenna
- Jenna Loves Pheromones
- Nervosa
- Aromas of Scottsdale
- None by Mouth
- Fold Spice
- Thank God It’s Not Houston
See also: The Porners’ Almanac
Ohmygod. awesome.
My birthday is in may…and when it’s time to blow out the candles, I’m gonna make a wish that you get to say that routine on Leno.
“Q. Is that the perfume that makes you come on your Wheaties?
A. No, that’s Bruce Jenna.”
Shame on you. Shame on me for laughing, but shame on you for starting it.
spleen spirit?
Kami, if you are the Kami I’m thinking of, I texted your old number while I was in Las Vegas and had the weirdest three-day conversation with someone who refused to believe I had the wrong number. What’s your new e-mail?