Porn Don’t Get No More Sacred Than the Creampie

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We all know that the Pop Shot is an immature expression of love. Love, the Bible tells us, is not boastful. That is why today we bring you the wholesome “Internal Combustion 18.”

“Your body is crazy, you Sexy Bitch,” says appreciative director Danny Case to Adriana Luna, who masturbates for us in a room adorned with nude portraits. And the classiness does not end there.

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Because “Internal Cumbustion 18” is, as you’ve probably guessed, a testament to the Marital Act as G-d intended; everything about the scene happens the exact same way it would in your standard Come On Your Face film, except this time the penultimate act is an inboard ejaculation.

Q. Whoa, Grams, did you just use “penultimate” as if it means “especially ultimate”?
A. No, you asshole. Let me finish.

As porn, like third grade math, requires us to Show Our Work, the ultimate act of Luna’s strivings with the gallant Derrick Pierce is for Luna to use her considerable nether muscles to force out some of his semen for the camera (“See if you can squeeze it out somehow,” prompts Case).

But the Blessed Event has already happened: Unless Luna is on some kind of birth control, she is likely already pregnant, because whatever dribbles out hadn’t hit home anyway. It’s Science.

Buy “Internal Cumbustion 18” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Adrianna Luna finds her light; Anatomy of an Oil Orgy
See also: 3rd Degree

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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