Is it possible to watch a movie made in 2010 and still find relevance to today’s world? I have not received a new Digital Playground movie since that company was assimilated by porn Galactus Manwin, so the pre-takeover “Body Heat” has been on my To Do list for a few years. Will all the holes still make sense?
Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Starring: Jesse Jane, Kayden Kross, Riley Steele, Katsuni, Raven Alexis, Bridgette B., Manuel Ferrara, Ben English, Scott Nails, Evan Stone, Tommy Gunn, Mick Blue, Marcus London
“Body Heat” begins smart, with archival footage of long-ago fire brigades and apparatuses. We are told that this is a Robby D. “film” and are immediately reassured; not having to think up words like “joint,” “fiasco,” “vision,” or “excuse” probably left some time for character development.
But, three seconds in, as Jesse Jane’s name comes up over a thoughtful, reminiscent piano score, we wonder how this tale of fireladies (we assume) and the men who love them (we assume) is going to challenge our disbelief: Do we really expect Jesse Jane to heft both her own boobs and a fire-threatened invalid out of a burning building while staying true to the caprices of her wild sexuality? How does this “Cider House Rules”-style score reconcile with the fact that there’s going to be a (w)hole lot of anal sex going on?
After the credits we become acutely aware that Digital Playground continues to spend its money well, and creatively. They’ve got a fire truck, an ambulance, a fire station, and even a pole for Kayden Kross to slide down. The gang at Engine 23 (this same L.A. fire station, closed in 1960, has been used for dozens of TV shows and movies, including as “Ghostbusters” headquarters) are taking calendar photos of teammate Jesse Jane, who thanks Kayden for her support and wishes her pal good luck; apparently everybody is hoping Kayden’s boyfriend, Manual Ferrara, will pop the question.
But it looks as if the couple is already living together in Kayden’s brick and therefore fire-retardant Downtown LA loft. Why buy Mrs. O’Leary’s cow if you can get the milk for free? Anyway, Manuel considers the ring he has purchased for Kayden as she brushes her teeth, then the pair get a ride in EMT Scott Nails’s ambulance to fuck.
It looks like this must happen all the time in these city vehicles; Ferrara is uniformless (but it turns out he’s on the bomb squad), chatting easily with Nails about last night’s boxing match. Then Nails begins driving, the window between front and back is closed, and Ferrara and Kross get to it.
An LAFD ambulance just rolled by my office—did the driver just pick up his buddies to fuck in it?
The team gets a call and the firehouse springs into action. A suspicious van has shown up on the property of developer Ben English, and Ferrara must defuse whatever may be waiting inside. There is genuine tension as he suits up and starts clipping wires.
But it is not to be. Despite all his wire snipping, the van blows up. Slow motion sorrow from the crowd. A closeup of the engagement ring box on the bedside table. Then, naked and grief-stricken Kayden in the shower.
Naked women weeping in the shower is an old and (I think) unfair device in movies. What are we supposed to make of these scenes? We want to console these women with our penises.
It reminds me of something Frank Sinatra confidante Jilly Rizzo said of his late friend’s relationship with Lauren Bacall following the death of her husband, Humphrey Bogart.
“He dried a widow’s tears,” Rizzo said.
In the shower, we want to dry Kayden and then wet her up again.
Now we are again impressed that Digital Playground can afford both an A and B story: A.) Will Kayden learn to love and have sex again and, B.) Who is setting bombs around L.A.?
With regard to B.), developer Ben English announces to Fire Captain Katsuni that he has purchased the fire station from the City. “Everything has its price,” he tells her, as his assistant, Bridgette B., looks on whilst flaunting her own developments. “You of all people should know that.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean, Ben?
We already have a solid suspicion that it is steely Mr. English who set the bomb that killed poor French Manuel Ferrara. Might poor French Katsuni be next? After all, English is British. Then we remember that Austrian Mick Blue plays a fireman in this movie; with two Frenchmen and an Austrian in these high-paying city jobs, we are frankly shocked that there is no Mexican representation: Where is Selena Rose?
Meanwhile, a bitter Kayden refuses the help of psychologist Raven Alexis (Why are people so doubtful of her?) as the team learns the news that the firehouse might be sold.
Riley Steele, who is often cast in a ditzy role, suggests the gang do a sexy car wash to earn money to buy the firehouse themselves. If it was a dirty trick to present a hard-nippled Kayden in the shower and expect us to feel sorry for her, then this “Let’s put on a show to save the firehouse that has already been sold by the city to Ben English and we are just finding out about it now” is just ridiculous.
But then fireman Tommy Gunn accepts counseling from Alexis, who ends up perpetrating some countertransference right on the desk. We find Gunn blameless in this, as he must be grief-stricken, but Alexis is a professional psychologist: how can we believe her ever again?
We realize she is utterly unreliable when she does the same thing with Mick Blue.
But both men have revealed that they are attracted to female authority figures. In the algebra of porn movies, we realize that 1.) there hasn’t been a threesome yet, and 2.) that Katsuni hasn’t had a sex scene yet. We look forward to this reveal.
Regardless, Blue’s and Gunn’s attraction to older women has nothing at all to do with their feelings about Ferrara’s death; we won’t just accept just any pretense for fucking on desks.
Disappointed that her carwash idea didn’t pan out, Riley offers her body to Ben English and Bridgette B. in consideration of a loan. The four bolted-on breasts stay inert, like the Sun, while the rest of porn revolves around them.
Marcus London (another British guy!) consoles—but platonically—Kayden as bagpipe music plays, symbolizing the loyalty and camaraderie of all police officers and firemen who would never think about bagpipe music unless someone has died. Then Jesse Jane consoles the pole of Scott Nails.
But the best sex scene of all comes next, as Katsuni, on a tip from Alexis, recognizes that, even though both of these men have just fucked the psychologist, she at least can bang them in the shower. She sashays in, all frank and French, and purposely drops the soap. It’s the first time I remember laughing out loud at an intentionally funny moment in a feature porn movie. Gunn’s expression is great.
When we learn that the mad bomber is not who we think it is, we are pleased. And now that Katsuni has chosen to liberate herself from being appropriate with staff, the final sex scene with Digital Playground’s (then) contract girls is both light and climactic, with girl-porn-power squeals of “Damn, Girl!” and “Show me that pussy.”
But the bomber is still on the loose. Will there be a “Body Heat 2”?
Made in 2010, “Body Heat” still resonates with us today. Kross borrows a digital camera from Katsuni to take a picture of Jesse Jane. Then as now, we aren’t totally confident that our iPhones can get the depth of field required to take a calendar photo. Similarly, we are dubious of Raven Alexis. In addition, city governments continue to sell off public buildings. And how prescient to show ambulance-fucking in 2010—who knew the porn world would be rocked by a syphilis outbreak in 2012?
“Body Heat,” like Wicked’s “Flashpoint” porny fire drama (starring Jenna Jameson) from several years ago, is a very expensive ensemble drama that pays off in its high-wattage and familiar talent as well as its impression of itself as a tentpole movie—these films are better because everyone involved wants them to be better.
We don’t believe Riley Steele and Jesse Jane for a moment as firefighters, but—well, there it is: We don’t believe Riley Steele and Jesse Jane for a moment as firefighters. We do imagine Kayden could hold her own, though.
Why producers chose to call this movie “Body Heat”—and not, say “Bomb Squad”—is a mystery that may lead to confusion and (William) hurt feelings, but it’s a great snapshot of corporate porn as it existed in 2010 at the height of a lot of careers.
- Buy “Body Heat” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Wicked’s “Flashpoint” or: Backdraft to the future; Porn Parodies of the Ancient World—”Connie And Floyd”
See also: Digital Playground
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