As you are doubtless aware, my parody of “The Facts of Life” is more than a porn movie. It is an unflinching examination of 21st century society as seen through the taut labia of women playing characters from shows they have never seen.
As such, here is the juicy Ashli Orion as Young Edna Garrett reacting to the complex series of emotions stirred by the arrival of Yeastland’s milkman, Delroy, played by Lee Bang.
Lee Bang happens to be Sophie Dee’s husband and, were I not an internationally recognized pimp myself, I might be jealous of his Welsh Rarebit.
As you will learn with greater detail in my upcoming book, 50 percent of the women originally cast in this movie never made it on camera. Orion, along with Kodi Gamble and Bobbi Brixton, were the three women lucky enough to ride the giddy wave of expectation from casting through wrap. As will be inscribed in 30 ft. letters on Sherman Way, We Had Three Tooties.
Orion looked much different but was no less delightful than the day I met her, her second day in porn, on the set of Erica McLean’s “Barely Legal 82.”
“What have you done since then?” I asked.
“Well, I did double anal for the first time the other day,” she said. “I didn’t expect to be doing that when you first met me.”
“You did it on purpose?” I asked.
“Yes.”
Orion’s presence was one of the highlights of the shoot, and her meeting in the makeup room with Raylene as Older Edna Garrett was as touching as several regenerations of Dr. Who getting together in the same poorly-lit BBC special.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Meet Ashley Orion; Anatomy of an Oil Orgy
I come for the porn. I stay for the random Dr. Who references. This is why I love you, Gram.
I never saw Facts of Life, so I don’t get those jokes, but I love the Dr. Who dig. That show I’ve seen a lot of (my husband is a fan). The new series has much better lighting!
When does your video come out? I can’t wait to see it!
~Riko
Are there any random Doctor Who references in the film? And if not, why not?
Oh!…Gram, you should do a Doctor Who parody! That way, if people drop out, you can just say they regenerated! Also, I want to see a dalek with a sex-toy hand instead of a toilet-plunger hand!
That’s two votes for a Dr. Who parody.
There was a sort of DW nudie parody with Daleks- I believe it was originally titled “Abducted By The Daleks” until the BBC attempted to sue them into the fourth dimension. I don’t think there was any Dalek on girl action but apparently there was a lot of nudity. Anyway, I’m with everyone else; the world needs a decent DW porn parody.
I think that if I can get a producer to say that AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE will purchase a Dr. Who porn, I could get the $100,000 necessary to do it right. I would of course center around the Tom Baker/Peter Davison era. I can see the Tegan/Anissa scene now.
I’d love to hear the story of how several originally-cast pornsters (and, of course, who they are) didn’t make the full journey without having to wait for the book. Also… how does tiny-boobed Ashli Orion sprout into Edna Garrett – that must be a fascinating story in and of itself.
For the love of God, leave Adric out of it.
Seconded. I can’t imagine Adric bringing much to the party beyond creepy shame-filled masturbation. Handle-headed Cybermen, however, have much potential.