Porn stars in the know use a damn blanket

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Temperatures in Porn Valley will top 105 degrees this Independence Day week, which is why people like Nicole Aniston (seen here in Wicked’s Inexplicably Not A Parody of Grease “Summer Lovin'”) pack a cheaply-made Mexican blanket for those inevitable fucking-on-the-hood-of-the-car scenes.

As just about any porn star will tell you they, like you, prefer beds, couches, showers, and maybe a junior high school wrestling mat or confessional to have sex in their daily lives. Anyone who has tried fucking on the hood of a car, in the roiling surf, in an airplane bathroom, or in a rolling doughnut has promptly checked off the appropriate box, filed the document with Human Resources, and expressed relief at never having to do that again.

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But if the script for your ridiculous Couples’ Porn movie calls for it during a week like this, by all means get a damn blanket, otherwise your ass cheeks are going to get all BrundleFly with the car.

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Buy “Summer Lovin'” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Almost Blue—”This Ain’t the Smurfs”
See also: Wicked

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