Temperatures in Porn Valley will top 105 degrees this Independence Day week, which is why people like Nicole Aniston (seen here in Wicked’s Inexplicably Not A Parody of Grease “Summer Lovin'”) pack a cheaply-made Mexican blanket for those inevitable fucking-on-the-hood-of-the-car scenes.
As just about any porn star will tell you they, like you, prefer beds, couches, showers, and maybe a junior high school wrestling mat or confessional to have sex in their daily lives. Anyone who has tried fucking on the hood of a car, in the roiling surf, in an airplane bathroom, or in a rolling doughnut has promptly checked off the appropriate box, filed the document with Human Resources, and expressed relief at never having to do that again.
But if the script for your ridiculous Couples’ Porn movie calls for it during a week like this, by all means get a damn blanket, otherwise your ass cheeks are going to get all BrundleFly with the car.
Buy “Summer Lovin'” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Almost Blue—”This Ain’t the Smurfs”
See also: Wicked
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