But before I tell you what they were, a definition.
Suitcase Pimp: A pejorative term for a man whose interest in his porn star girlfriend/wife eclipses his understanding that they are actually different people. The term was coined, I believe, in 1643. Evan Seinfeld (husband of Tera Patrick and her biggest fan) once told me, “Never, ever get photographed carrying your wife’s suitcase in this business. You can’t even be chivalrous.”
1. I was talking with a colleague about a man who was giving me trouble about something I wrote about his girlfriend. The man took offense to several things I’d written that were actually very positive.
I mentioned that I was not going to respond to this guy’s e-mails or even print them in order to make him look foolish, because suitcase pimps are drawn to drama even more than their girlfriends are. In fact, this particular girlfriend was embarrassed by her SP’s actions.
My colleague agreed that, unlike other people we know, there’d be no value in printing this dude’s boring e-mails, because it would never end.
“You Can’t Stop the Suitcase,” he said.
2. An Eminent Porn Director stopped by Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Yurt, Schoolbook Depository, Yeshiva, and Cyclotron today. The Director is known for high-gloss, classy hetero adult fare.
“You got any tranny porn?” he asked. As a matter of fact I had. When we run out of candy corn here at the office on Halloween…
We paid a visit to the Porn Locker and I supplied the Director with several titles. In the three years I’ve had this site, the question of What Porn Do Porn Directors Watch? never occurred to me.
“It’s the only thing that gets me off lately,” he said.