Asa Akira and Jesse Jane will co-host 2013′s AVN Awards, commemorating the 30th anniversary of the adult trade magazine launched in Philadelphia and the 29th year the company has distributed honors.
Each year’s AVN show is smaller, and each year gloomy people who have no business being gloomy what with all the 19-year-old naked vixens bouncing around them tell me that this year will surely be the last one. And each summer I am delighted to begin receiving press releases for next January’s show.
Because however long any of us chooses to stay in the adult business, I want January to continue meaning “Las Vegas.”
I just wish porn people would stop using—among other odious terms, like “strokeable”—the word “arguably.”
I think Asa Akira and Jesse Jane are great choices for co-hosts. Both are very smart and engaging. Let’s hope they have the freedom and inclination to show off those qualities in January.
Oddly enough, the press release below fails to mention WHEN and WHERE the awards show is (January 19, 2013 at the Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel), but chooses to include Akira’s penchant for anal penetration and allows the word “arguably” to be used to describe the show’s status—why wouldn’t you just say “The Best” and let everyone else argue?
The following is a press release reprinted to enlighten non-adult industry readers about how the porn business talks about itself. It was written by an adult industry marketing professional.
Jesse Jane & Asa Akira to Co-Host the 2013 AVN Awards
AVN Media Network is pleased to announce that it has named adult megastars Jesse Jane and Asa Akira as co-hosts of the 2013 AVN Awards. The 30th anniversary show celebrating the biggest night in adult entertainment represents a significant milestone and it promises to be a night to remember.
A bona fide adult superstar, Jesse Jane ascended from Hooters manager to Hawaiian Tropic pageant winner to international fame as a Digital Playground contract girl. Her adult super star status was solidified in 2005 with her leading role in Pirates, the most expensive adult feature ever produced. “I’m so excited to host the 30th anniversary AVN Awards!” Jane exclaimed. “It’s such an honor to host again. I had a blast last time and this year will truly be amazing. Thank you AVN. I can’t wait!”
A stunning Japanese-American beauty, Asa Akira has skyrocketed to success as an unrivaled adult actress and performer. The 5’2″ beauty has become known for her exotic look, sexy curves and incredibly dynamic sex scenes (particularly anal). “I feel so incredibly lucky to have this chance to host the awards show,” Akira said. “The AVN Awards is arguably the biggest, most important annual event in our industry. Hosting the 30th anniversary show is an honor I really can’t even describe right now. To say I’m feeling excited would be an understatement. I’m hoping to make this one of the best and memorable shows in AVN history! I’m also hoping not to trip on stage.”
Don’t miss a toast three decades in the making. Secure your seats today for the 30th Anniversary AVN Awards. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Jesse Jane—”I don’t feel anyone is my competition”; Asa Akira—Hot Japanese teens are only thinking about each other
See also: AVN Awards