[PR] Farrah Abraham Hoping She Won’t Remind You of A White Montana Fishburne

Everything about sex tape publicity is shady
Everything about sex tape publicity is shady

Six years ago young Farrah Abraham was impregnated in what—I’m only speculating—was an unplanned move never intended to make her a reality TV personality. Today the “Teen Mom” star is the Queen of a Fisher Price chess set, all its pieces proceeding according to some kind of plan.

The press release below is really all you need to know about today’s porn industry, and I admire it for its compact but comprehensive list of misdirections and delusional thinking.

The release states that Abraham never intended for this “private” sex tape to go public, so makes no mention that Abraham’s co-star is James Deen, only the most famous porn star in he world right now. The pair were photographed holding hands outside Vivid’s offices on Cahuenga Blvd., as if that windswept nowhereland would ever inspire gestures of affection.

farrah_superstar_backdoor_teen_mom_smThe release states that Abraham considered other offers for the tape’s distribution, as if the entire production weren’t handled by Vivid.

The Abraham sex tape follows one of the two established sex tape narratives. Since her DVD is called “Backdoor Teen Mom,” we’ll say she took Route #1: The Buttafuoco.

Shortly after the release of “Amy Fisher Caught on Tape,” Joey Buttafuoco and wife Evanka were “captured” making sweet love in the home of director Rob Spallone, who conveniently happened to have cameras running in the room. After a short well-publicized back and forth with studio Red Light District (originators of the celebrity sex tape genre with the genuine Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee releases) that their marital strivings were not for public consumption, the Buttafuocos consented to releasing the blessed event to the public.

It’s a way of saving face for people ashamed of getting naked for cash. This is the tack taken by Kim Kardashian, and how Abraham and Vivid are pursuing their partnership.

The other method is the Chyna Road, in which a celebrity knowingly, zestily embraces porn and makes a willing leap into its many folds, a la lady-wrestler Chyna.

We can be sure that Abraham was not paid $2 million for “consenting” to release the professionally-staged footage, as she has been quoted in news outlets demanding—

“I am happy with the seven figure settlement I have reached, with who I feel to be the best adult entertainment company in the industry, Vivid,” Abraham said in a statement (unaware that you’re not supposed to count the numbers t the right of the decimal point).

—but the string of calculations leading to this tape at least make it believable Abraham is in it to win it, is a different person than who she was six years ago, and doesn’t intend to fall into obscurity like other sex tape celebrities, such as Montana Fishburne.

But what does winning it mean? Vivid co-chairman Steve Hirsch seems to believe that “it” is fame and ubiquity, if not respect or a marriage lasting more than 72 days.

“Farrah’s looks remind me of a young Kim Kardashian,” Hirsch says, “and we all know how her story turned out.”

The following is a press release reprinted to enlighten non-adult industry readers about how the porn business talks about itself. It was written by an adult industry marketing professional.


Controversial MTV Star Farrah Abraham is Featured in Explicit Private Tape Now Made Public; Vivid Head Steven Hirsch Says, “Her Looks Remind Me of a Young Kim Kardashian”

LOS ANGELES – (April 29, 2013) – Vivid Entertainment has acquired all rights to a sexually charged movie starring 21-year-old Farrah Abraham. The adult film studio will release Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom online at vivid.com on May 6th and it will go on sale in stores nationwide on May 14th.

The movie was made privately by the former cheerleader from Council Bluffs, Iowa who became the star of the hit MTV series Teen Mom. The existence of the footage that she originally wanted to keep confidential became known earlier this month, and it has been the subject of intense media scrutiny since then.

“Since word of this tape got out, we’ve been overwhelmed with inquiries about whether or not we had acquired it,” said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of Vivid. “I’m happy to confirm that we have purchased it. We went after this movie as vigorously as any sex tape we’ve ever pursued. We felt it was definitely worth it, not only because of Farrah’s popularity, but because the footage itself is amazing. I think many fans will be shocked at how truly explicit it is, including stunning backdoor scenes. Farrah’s looks remind me of a young Kim Kardashian and we all know how her story turned out.”

“In Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom we have over 70 minutes of non-stop erotic action,” Mr. Hirsch said. “Farrah is gorgeous, sexy and absolutely uninhibited. She has the kind of independence that our fans find appealing.”

Word of the tape’s existence was widely covered by the media and, having lost the ability to keep it a secret, Farrah decided to sell the tape to Vivid after reviewing several offers.

The Teen Mom star became pregnant at 16 and caught the public’s attention in the MTV series when Derek Underwood, the father of her pregnant child, died in a car accident two months before the birth of their baby, Sophia Laurent. Farrah had to deal with Underwood’s death, developing a combative relationship with her mother as well as other in-law relationship problems.

Therapy sessions have helped her get through difficult times, and she decided to celebrate the end of her 21st year by making a personal tape that would forever capture her beauty and sensuality at this time in her life.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Octomom masturbates to the inevitable

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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  1. So Last Week 168 @ Jamye Waxman M.Ed.

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