PR: Finally, Men Exploited


One of the great joys of writing about the adult industry is receiving Porn Press Releases. They are entertaining and informative, and they let us know what is selling by virtue of who has money to hire a publicist. That’s right: In the same way that there is an actual occupation known as America’s Beloved Porn Journalist, so are there several hard-working porn publicists out there, many of whom have been doing this for years. YEARS. Now more than ever, my friends, we can glean a great deal from this very particular style of prose. I will present these press releases verbatim and, unlike Mr. Simon, here, uncut. If I have any comment, I will make it clear that it’s me talking.—Gram

July 17, 2020

Fashionable Criss Simon Discover New Joys in His Scene

SHF Enlists Kyler Quinn to Show Him Previously-Unimagined Pleasures

HOLLYWOOD – It’s clear from the moment you see Criss Simon that he has a little more pizzazz than the average American performer. He’s got style in his dress and it’s not just the tie and jacket. Chalk it up to him being Franco-Canadien.

Whatever it is, Kyler Quinn is ready to eat him right up in’s “The Older Gent & The Coed.” She watches him go from his business suit to birthday suit and steps in to take an alluring whiff of his armpit – really, it’s a simple act that’s maybe never looked as sexy as Kyler doing it here – and it’s clear they both love it. 

A few seconds later Kyler takes the oil and starts dumping it on his chest and his expression momentarily reveals a bit of shock or confusion, but he relaxes into it. And he’s in good hands.

Turns out he’s never been treated like this, on-or off-camera. A lot of new things for the guy, including the opportunity to really relax, be the focus of the scene and just let a beautiful young thing worship him for a change.

“It was my first shoot like that,” Criss said with a smile. “It was the first time a girl licked my toes, licked my ass, I liked that.”


Of course he did, and all the better when it’s a pro like Kyler, one of the finest rimmers in the adult industry today. Watching her lap at his feet as she faces the camera, hearing Criss’ satisfaction, it is obvious that the Arizona girl truly gets off on a guy’s pleasure and to watch and hear Simon soaking it in was très magnifique for both of them. 

By the time she really shows off her blowjob skills it’s a wonder Criss hadn’t already popped a load, but there was so much to come! A couple more rounds of rimming and Kyler’s rusty trombone is known as Porn Valley’s finest, so a guy doesn’t want to miss a moment of that. And then there is of course the fucking!

There is no such thing as a regular romp with this slender beauty and part of the SHF package is he gets to fully have his way with her. This is a scene Criss will be talking about for a long time. His countrymen won’t believe it!

Check out “The Older Gent & The Coed” at’s COVID-19 Quarantine Special has been extended through Aug. 1! Get 30% off initial signup for the first month, a 3-month subscription or a full year!

Follow Criss Simon on Twitter @crisssimon69 and check out his OnlyFans at 

Kyler is represented by Hussie Models, the only talent agency licensed in bonded in both California and Florida. For more information and to book Kyler go to She is available for anal, BBGG, BG, BGB, BJ, DP, blowbang, bondage, facial, fetish, GBG, GG, solo, swallow, taboo and toys. Her Twitter is @KylerQuinnPorn, IG is @kylerquinnxx and OnlyFans is  

Follow them on on Twitter at @seehimfuck and Instagram @seehimfck.

# # #

Keywords: SeeHimFuck, Criss Simon, Kyler Quinn, rimming, Hussie Models

Gram Writes:

Heavy hangs the head that wears the crown

Gram writes:

There’s a lot going on in these pictures, sent with the press release by Rising Star PR, an outfit that has served the publicity needs of porn personnel for more than a decade. Who’s the audience, do you think? Who are the people invested in watching the work of “one of the finest rimmers in the adult industry today,” the lovely Kyler Quinn? And how would Kyler stack up against the finest rimmer in, say, the long haul trucking industry?

Because I’ve seen my share of poses like this one, my eye tends to land not on the performers but their surroundings. I wonder if that duvet could have been straightened, if that ceiling fan could have been cut out. I wonder why Ms. Quinn is barefoot but Messr. Simon is shod. Do you think that he told her to take her shoes off and, when she pointed out that he had his shoes on, he said, “My house, my rules”? I wonder if the headline, “Fashionable Criss Simon Discover New Joys…” is supposed to be read in a French accent.

Finally, I wonder if i’ll be able to get the phrase “alluring whiff” out of my head.

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist


  1. That blazer doesn’t fit him too well. And his slacks are way too long. It looks to me like he purchased that outfit at a thrift store and didn’t bother having anything altered. So, I’m going to say “no” to his being “well dressed.”

    I can, however, see why women would find him attractive. Just not “well dressed.”

  2. Looking forward to seeing Kyler accept her ‘Golden Rim ‘ award at the next AVN. It’s well-deserved; she’s out there tongue swabbing pink spokes so you don’t have to!

  3. That’s a good point, but I’m also glad the world doesn’t work that way. I mean, if Kyler goes on vacation I really hope no one shows up at my door with a bunch of pink spokes and is all like, “Well somebody has to do it. Start swabbin’.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.