Preventing “This Ain’t El Topo XXX”

Before you think that “El Topo,” Alejandro Jodorowsky’s epic of a Spaghetti Western wanderer who looks like Barry Gibb, who defeats four mystical gunslingers, has sex in the sand and then with a dwarf, and whose reconciliation with a son he once abandoned to sissified monks – and who would grow to look like Cat Stevens – has nothing to do with porn and therefore is ripe for a porn adaptation, well, you’re almost right.

The Chilean Jodorowsky shot “El Topo” in Mexico and finished it in 1970. The movie was championed by John Lennon and Yoko Ono, who convinced the Beatles’ manager, Allen Klein, to produce Jodorowsky’s next film, “The Holy Mountain.”

Klein and Jodorowsky quarrelled when the latter said he would not film an adaptation of “The Story of O,” since Jodorowsky (who said after the release of “El Topo” that “I can fuck all the girl that I want[sic]”) claimed that the 1954 dominance ‘n’ submission novel by Anne Desclos offended his newly-formed feminist sensibilities.

  • Porn link 2: Ernest Greene filmed two adaptations of “The Story of O” starring Carmen Luvana and Bree Olson, respectively, in 2007 and 2008.

Klein owned the rights to both “El Topo” and “Holy Mountain” and refused to show either for 30 years until he and Jodorowsky reconciled.

Prior to this, Jodorowsky was picked to direct Frank Herbert’s “Dune” and, according to Herbert, planned a 16-hour movie with a script “as thick as a phone book.” The “Dune” project was taken away from Jodorowsky and in 1984 was directed by “El Topo” fan David Lynch. Four years before, Ernest Greene had worked for De Laurentiis on the production of “Flash Gordon.”

Over the years, Jodorowsky planned a sequel to “El Topo” variously called “Los Hijos del Topo” and “Abelcain.” He struggled to find funding, but as recently as last year Marilyn Manson was attached to star.

There are several reasons why “El Topo” can’t be a porn parody, chief among them that there are no roles for Kagney Linn Karter or Jesse Jane, but also because there are only two dwarves in all of porndom, because it is hard to dress Chatsworth like a cave full of monsters, and you’d have to get Aiden Starr to play the naked 7-year-old boy.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Turn It Off! George C. Scott in ‘Hardcore”

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

10 Comments

  1. El Topo had one showing only in NYC in 1970 at The Thalia on the upper west side. It was one of those “be there or be square” things. I was there. Half-way through, my girlfriend ran out of the thrater screaming, “you people are all crazy.” I met up with her later back at our downtown loft where i tried to explin the movie to her as she continued her watercolor portrait of Jodorowsky which she later painted over.

  2. El Topo had one showing only in NYC in 1970 at The Thalia on the upper west side. It was one of those “be there or be square” things. I was there. Half-way through, my girlfriend ran out of the thrater screaming, “you people are all crazy.” I met up with her later back at our downtown loft where i tried to explin the movie to her as she continued her watercolor portrait of Cat Stevens which she later painted over.

  3. Mr. Squiggle,

    That’s a shame to read about RJD. His appearance in “Tenacious D And the Pick of Destiny” was the best part of that movie.

    Greetings to my friends on the Gold Coast and Brizzy.

    Also: How CAN we sleep when our beds are burning?

  4. I have a copy of EL TOPO, btw, did they boinked the girl for real? I did not see any penetration shots so is hard to tell.

    Who was the actress?

  5. Mr. Dent,

    First of all, sorry about your face.

    Second, there are several actresses with nude scenes in “El Topo”: The one with the most screen time is Mara Lorenzio, who is seen admiring herself in the pond, Paula Romo is the woman in black who takes Mara away, and the Dwarf Princess is played by Jacqueline Luis. Knowing the time and Jodorowsky, who knows? Maybe everyone had sex in the movie. But that film has not been released.

  6. Thank you for your review of my film The Vampire Sex Diaries! I’m glad someone gets it BUT more importantly I can’t believe you posted EL TOPO! My wife and I (Tabitha Stevens) absolutely LOVE Jodorowsky and the fact that El Topo showed up on a porn review site gives me hope for mankind. It seems not everyone out there is content with the banal porn faire which has over-saturated our world and that’s GREAT NEWS!

1 Trackback / Pingback

  1. Preventing “This Ain’t Antichrist XXX” | Porn Valley Observed con Gram Ponante

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*