Grid your loins: “Pron: The XXX Parody”

“Did you really just try to seduce me by referencing Hall & Oates?” asks April O’Neil, a file-repressing computer program with maneating breasts, just before she gets fucked by Anthony Rosano’s avatar to a thinly-veiled version of “Higher Ground” in “Pron,” a parody of porn parodies.

Studio: GoodNight Movies
Director: Lee Roy Myers, Sam Hain
Starring: Lexi Belle, Anthony Rosano, Zoe Voss, April O’Neil, Andy San Dimas, Diamond Foxxx, Rocco Reed, Brian Street Team, Tommy Pistol

“Pron” not only references the 80’s, but also the nature of Internet porn (“pron”) itself, as well as porn parodies, in a script that trusts us to occasionally forgive actors doing their best with dialogue with the promise that we’ll get to see them naked. This exchange pays off.

“Fling” (Rosano) is a hacker trying to break into the system of a sex toy company, which long ago stole the designs of such pop culture-themed marital aids as the “Fletch-lite” and “Knight Rider” nipple clamps. “Pron” revels in its low-tech take on its source material: the nipple clamps are a grip vise with what appears to be a laser pen aimed at it.

In a series of gratuitous and not-so-gratuitous porny encounters, Fling is beamed into a gridded and illuminated computer world, there in search of the MBP, or MasturBation Control Program. He meets Tommy Pistol, who just got finished fucking Diamond Foxxx (she gives a blowjob upside down, the way they do in computers), then he meets Andy San Dimas, who gives him some data but then fucks Brian Street Team, whose body art fit the color palette, and then meets Zoe Voss, who looks the most Sci-Fi and David Bowie of all.

Also, Rocco Reed fucks Lexi Belle next to a CRT older than she is.

Finally Fling encounters the awesome MBP, and must give it a gift in exchange for the files it stole.

While the cast is game for the jokes and is winking all the way through (Fling tries out a binary code joke full of ones and zeros at a bar), “Pron” doesn’t skimp on the sex. It was a little dark, like an old PBS show or a recent Wicked movie, but its porny limitations didn’t get in the way of our good time.

“Pron” works on a lot of levels; as a straight-up porn movie, as a porn parody, and as a parody of porn parodies themselves. As budgets get smaller, it helps when there are actually good reasons to make porn movies. So get “Pron” for its commentary on the state of porn parodies in 2011, but stay for the upside down blowjobs.

  • Buy “Pron” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Pron” is Disney’s biggest porn parody since “Pirates”
See also: GoodNight Media

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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