Cruel Digital Playground. Do they expect me to just give up my manageable, wholesome crush on Stoya by trotting out the virginal Riley Steele (TM)? Apparently, because not only will Steele (TM) perform her first boy/girl scene in the ever-upcoming Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge, but she has also given up her tender brand identity. You should only do that for someone you love, but it looks mutual.
While the promo pictures do look slightly like those of Jesse Jane (TM), I am assured that they are not the same person. You will also notice that Steele (TM) is so new that only one picture exists of her.
“Riley is the total package and the perfect compliment (sic) to our contract star roster,” Digital Playground founder Samantha Lewis said in a statement.
Not to be outdone, Steele (TM) fired back: “Digital Playground is a class act and by far the best.”
“Oh you,” Digital Playground then said.
“Oh you,” Steele (TM) replied.
Then I trademarked the word you (TM). Make those checks payable to Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Helipad, Gentle-Kill Abbatoir, and Lobster Hatchery suckers!
Previously: Stoya avoids labels
See also: Digital Playground
Ah yes, nothing says special and unique like a trademarked name. You know, like Kleenex (TM), Dumpster (TM) and KY Jelly (TM).