Sarah Vandella Is Today’s Tom Sawyer

sarasloane14
For Sarah Vandella watching a comp tape of her time as Sara Sloane, it must be like when Tom Sawyer attended his own funeral [Bonus: none of these people is real!]

Porn stars are like generic pharmaceuticals; they perform the same way as the name brand. For the juicy Sarah Vandella, her mostly-unheralded year under contract as Sara Sloane left people wondering, “Gee. That Sara Sloane sure reminds us of Sarah Vandella.”

Even though she changed her name to Sara Sloane for a year or so, Sarah Vandella never went away.

Zero Tolerance has released “Everybody Loves Sara Sloane,” a 2-disc collection of Sara Sloane’s time under contract, back in the waning days of the first decade of the 21st century when Zero Tolerance saw the value in such things.

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Here we can see Sloandella in ZT’s “Psycho” and “Jersey Shore” parodies as well as numerous blonde/big/boob/big butt series, each of which showcases—yes—her blondeness, pneumatic rack, and big buttitude, but also her Best Girlfriend Ever potential.

Heart of Stone? Consider this one bit of improvised dialogue from “Stripper Diaries”:

ANTHONY ROSANO
Looking at that (ass), I don’t care that my wife is probably smoking meth right now.

SLOANDELLA
Let me drown your sorrows in my ass

or between Sloane and Krissy Lynn in “Blow Me Sandwich”:

SLOANDELLA
God, you’re fucking gorgeous

KRISSY LYNN
So are you!

SLOANDELLA
Thank you.

This scene, which finishes the DVD set, displays the quintessence of Sloandella’s people-pleasing pliancy, especially playing off the equally-charming Krissy Lynn, and is yet another example of why “Everybody Loves Sara Sloane,” no matter what her goddamn name is.

Buy “Everybody Loves Sara Sloane” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Potential Space”—porn stars without makeup
See also: Zero Tolerance

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