Sarah Vandella’s creampie of assonance

Porn can be poetic. Just look at Sarah Vandella masturbating on what appears to be the deck of the Mir Space Station, slipping the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of her vulva.

We’re all familiar with alliteration in porn: Jesse Jane, Jenna Jameson, Kimberly Kane, Kayla Kupcakes, Monica Mayhem. For the guys, we even know about charactonyms, the names that suggest the penile virtues of the people who possess them: Evan Stone, Brian Surewood, Erik Everhard.

But today we’ll talk about assonance, the use of similar sounds inside words.

Why was the creampie (i.e. a procedure in which the money shot is internal but then proven by a panel of experts) epic “Explode in My Hole” such an interesting title? Why Assonance, of course. That, and Sarah Vandella, whose holes have been exploded on, near, and because of, but rarely in.

The full title of the movie is “Lo! Goad Your Choad to Explode or Blow A Load in This Ho’s Rosy Hole, Then Go Show Your Bros You Broke What You Rode, Dudes.”

Sarah Vandella (and covergirl Jessica Bangkok, employing both charactonym and onomatopoeia) are so poetic in this movie that it is hard to believe that Garrison Keillor doesn’t answer my e-mails.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Sarah Vandella makes me feel like a replicant; Booty is only a part of This Brothel Life
See also: Explode in My Hole

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

2 Comments

  1. Gram, this is the most hilarious post in recent history.”…creampie (i.e. a procedure in which the money shot is internal but then proven by a panel of experts)…,” etc. I laughed my ass off, and spilled my coffee all over the lame “checkbook journalism” that occupies the pages of AVN, laying next to my laptop. Nobody captures (then puts into a cozy little cage with nice, clean newspaper on the floor) the absurd world of porn like you. You are a literary genius, sir*
    Thanks, and tally-ho!
    -Lance

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