It has come to this. Caroline Pierce shambles through Seattle with lifeless eyes—like a doll’s eyes—intoning “Fuuuuuck Meeee.” She has become a zombie. Note to self: Must move to Seattle.
Studio: Rodney Moore
Director: Rodney Moore
Starring: Caroline Pierce, Nikki Daniels, Rachel O, Harper Leigh, Rodney Moore
God Bless Rodney Moore. The porn legend continues to create outsider smut from his home base in Seattle, using unknowns and strippers as well as old (but not too old) friends like Caroline Pierce, who gamely shuffles through Pioneer Square as a zombie.
A group of teenagers walks by as Pierce—looking like a Nirvana roadie and nothing more—staggers through downtown Seattle murmuring “Fuck Me.” Do they know they’re in a porn movie? It is odd that Pierce would have fit right in to the “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video but times have changed so much that her look is retroactively porny.
The ultra low-budget “I Can’t Believe I Fucked A Zombie” may lead the viewer to believe that in these four juicy, apple-bottomed women, each shot POV-style by the director, Moore has found his Feminine Ideal. All they say is “Fuck Me.” Then they leave.
We don’t know why they’re zombies or why they are compelled to only visit Moore at his home. They just do. Maybe he is controlling their minds? In any case, each does the same thing:
1. Walk through a public area in the Pacific Northwest
2. Continually say “Fuck Me”
3. Arrive at Moore’s home and undress
4. Blow Moore, then be fucked by him
This is even more high-concept than most Porn Valley material, yet it is very refreshing to see different locations and different bodies. Each is a stunner in her own way, and Nikki Daniels has a clit that is a movie in itself.
“I Can’t Believe I Fucked A Zombie” won’t win any awards. For one thing, there is ample evidence that Moore can believe he fucked a zombie, and it’s not like his POV indicates any remorse. We can also hear him giving directions to the actresses that he—the editor—didn’t bother editing out. But I hope it sells well to old fans and new, as it is a goofy and good-natured movie that makes us want to fuck our own zombies.
Buy “I Can’t Believe I Fucked A Zombie” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Night of the “Night of the Giving Head”; Rikochan pumps up the clam
See also: Rodney Moore
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist
