It occurred to me recently that I have very few pictures with the porn stars I’ve written about for more than a decade, so I resolved to get some pictures with these people at the 2014 Adult Entertainment Expo just in case they end up murdering somebody in case I knock out my lobes in a fall.
I encountered Kiki D’aire at the bar the night before the Expo started. There was a crowd of men around her and she was driving them nuts. “Let me take you away from all this,” I said.
“No,” she said.
Because she’s allergic to my dog, now Stoya is with James Deen. I really do wish them luck. James is a nice man.
Asa Akira was one of my favorite interviews at the show. Here we are on a sun-dappled couch. The sun is really dappling the shit out of us.
Ava DaLush looks so much different from when I met her this time last year; she got herself a burlesque haircut. But she is still bite-sized, so I had her stand on a table.
I don’t know what Tasha Reign and I were doing in this photo; it looks like she’s trying to pull a roast chicken out of my mouth.
I’ll just tell you that Samantha Bentley got up to some wickedness on this trip. Here’s me being concerned and her being some version of sheepish.
I remember Penthouse Pet Allie Haze as being shorter but no; her legs almost stretched back to Barstow.
Dana DeArmond and I have a complicated history. One day we will do a version of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” Or maybe “Bus Stop.”
Sophie Dee told me that she is doing so much mainstream stuff now that she hasn’t actually performed in an adult movie in almost a year. “So why are you here?” I asked. “To torment you,” she did not say.
I see a big future in this business for Gigi Allens, even if that future doesn’t include me. The Sydney dominatrix is about 6’3″ in heels. I rarely get the opportunity to look in someone’s eyes whilst standing up.
Alexis Texas told me that she once teabagged Teagan Presley’s head with her ass while they were dancing. Or maybe it was like gently hammering Teagan into the ground like a nail. Either way: fascinating.
Chanel Preston looked like Diana Rigg in her leather pants. A Diana Rigg who might just do anything.
Siri likes me when I’m serious; it makes her feel safe.
These delightful people are “Sex Nerd” Sandra Daugherty and recently-tenured UNLV professor Lynn Comella. Naturally the tenure committee did not see this photo beforehand.
A bunch of us were wined, dined, and limo’d around Las Vegas, winding up at the club Light at the Mandalay Bay. Here are Jiz Lee and Sex Nerd Sandra before we all had seizures.
On my final night in Vegas I pulled up a table and chair in the main hallway of the Hard Rock Hotel and treated the place like it was the kitchen of a college party. Everybody eventually came by, including Nina Hartley, with whom I was happy to share my cigar.
When I got home, I am told that I was asleep before I hit the bed. I don’t remember my dog being anywhere near me.
Great shots, and welcome back, damnit!