“Sex & The City” & Cougars: Oh My

“Something about living in the most bustling city in the world can turn a girl into a cock-craving nymph,” says sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw (Kayla Paige) in Lee Roy Myers’ “Sex & the City” parody, a faithful play on the original with a couple of advantages and eerie similarities: Paige suggests a curvier, more accessible Sarah Jessica Parker without mirroring that actor’s granite-faced shrewishness and, unlike the original, all the major characters live up to the title by actually having sex.

Studio: New Sensations
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Starring: Kayla Paige, Brittany Andrews, Bobbi Starr, Zoe Voss, Avy Scott, Evan Stone, Ralph Long, Coco Velvett, Danny Mountain, India Summer, Tommy Pistol, Angie Savage, Nichole Heiress, Anthony Rosano, Eddie Adams

For, while Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon had no-nudity clauses in their contracts, Paige and Zoe Voss, who plays Miranda, probably only have No Ron Jeremy clauses in theirs.

And that makes all the difference in a parody that even smartly approximated the Latin cocktail music of the original soundtrack by means of a sound library.

Carrie is presented with a dilemma: leave her best friends in New York or move to Los Angeles with Mr. Big (Evan Stone). As with the original, Carrie must work through her problem by typing about it in a series of Apple product placements or chatting with her three best girlfriends, Samantha (archcougar Brittany Andrews), Miranda (Voss), and Charlotte (Bobbi Starr).

Her girlfriends protest that, with Carrie gone, they will have no one to take their sex problems to, and the movie unfolds several scenarios (including a fantasy fourway that the Darren Star version never approached) of the girls having character-appropriate liaisons.

Paige puts a much nicer face on Carrie, and she shines in her role in an ensemble piece that shows how parodies can be just a little more mature without skimping on the sex. As Samantha, Andrews is every bit as unlikeably showboaty as Kim Cattrall, and Bobbi Starr is given the rare opportunity to both act and be a little more softcore as Charlotte.

The most memorable scene involves a three-way between Voss, her husband Steve (the returned-to-porn Tommy Pistol), and Coco Velvett, who does an amazing Fran Drescher imitation in her cameo. It is scenes like this one that show that acting is not a dirty word in porn as long as it is done by the right people.

I am also particularly happy that the name of Kenny Rogers was invoked in this movie, even more so than when that of the great Supertramp popped up in the “WKRP in Cincinnati” parody.

And, as a couples’ viewing experience (if couples actually watch adult movies; I’m beginning to think that is a myth propagated by the Porno Industrial Complex), the “Sex & the City” parody is much more satisfying than the original show, which left me feeling guilty after each viewing because I always wanted to shoot certain characters in the face.

Buy “Sex & The City: The Original XXX Parody” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Coco Velvett before the sternum tattoo; Darren Star’s other connection to porn; Kenny Rogers’ first appearance on my site
See also: New Sensations

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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