Sometimes We Are Grateful for False Advertising, A.J. Applegate

I’ll admit that sometimes I’ll watch documentaries about conditions at factory farms (because it still tastes like chicken) or even look at a car accident (while not slowing down; I’m not a monster), but I draw the line at watching asses get wrecked.

ajapplegate14“Assacre” (Asses Being Wrecked By Dicks And Dildo’s [sic]) stars the juicy blue-eyed A.J. Applegate, who opens the scene by sucking on an acrylic dildo while her ass remains as yet unwrecked. In fact, her mouth isn’t even wrecked.

As we get further into the scene, however, Applegate’s lovely smile gets us nervous; sure she’s got an ass that might actually make the strong weep, but do we really want to “wreck” anything on the pleasant person of someone smiling so? We’ll just hope for the best.

Her ass in the air, she rubs the transparent wand over her vagina, which we see distorted through its phallic tip. Distorted or no, Readers, it still looks good.

Eventually Mick Blue (whose name matches her shoes) enters both the scene and Applegate. I am happy to say he doesn’t wreck her ass. It is still there, quite elastic, at the end of the movie, thankfully.

Because I’d hate to see Applegate tottering into the emergency room on those shoes and have to sit for eight hours on that wrecked ass.

Buy “Assacre” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Sexually Broken” home—A Visit to InSex
See also: New Sensations

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

1 Comment

  1. If a superfluous apostrophe on the cover is the the worst spelling and/or grammar mistake in the whole product, I’d be pleasantly surprised. The number of movies I’ve seen where they can’t even spell the performers’ (fake) names correctly is mind-boggling. I’m blaming the internet for the rapid decline of properly-written American English. Get off my lawn, etc.

    Two of your three links above are broken, Gram. I won’t say which two, but I will say that, oddly, the word “broken” appears in neither of them.

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