Spit-Roasting with Gigi Allens: Porner’s Almanac 5

Any successful relationship requires managed expectations, which is why Gigi Allens makes it very clear what she wants to do to you in the fifth Porner’s Almanac.

Hint: It involves spit-roasting.

GiGi Allens, AEE 2014

GiGi Allens, AEE 2014

I’m like Thomas Jefferson in regard to the sub end of the BDSM world; I may not be into it personally, but I celebrate and would fight for your right to get pegged, spit-roasted, cuckolded, and otherwise humiliated, as long as it’s consensual. But I’m no prude; I get freaky on occasion myself. I’m really into falconry lately, and yesterday I had some falcons change my oil. So there’s that.

Furthermore, to meet the very tall Aussie dominatrix/porn performer Allens, who chose her porn name as a tribute to the deceased punk rocker G.G. Allin, is to understand that while we may not want to be spit-roasted by her, we’d really like to go have drinks with her.

I also wax rhapsodic about several of this week’s birthdays, including that of Georgina Spelvin
, 78, who starred in “The Devil in Miss Jones.” That movie made me think differently about porn movies from the so-called Golden Era, which prior to seeing it had been an exercise in experiencing every bad porn cliche. When I finally got to see “Miss Jones” a few years ago, I realized that the Golden Era was similar to our own in one very important way: Sometimes there are great movies, and some are crap. “The Devil in Miss Jones” is a great movie.

Ashley Fires, Los Angeles

Ashley Fires, Los Angeles

This week’s birthdays also include the charming Calli Coxof Shane’s World fame (37), frankly-nippled Havana Ginger(30),the literate Lorelei Lee
(33), dashing Derrick Pierce
(40), and the lovely Ashley Fires (32), whom I just saw at the Adult Entertainment Expo giving 100 percent to her fans. Because you can’t give more than a hundred percent.

Truth is, you can’t give a hundred percent, either. You’d die. But Ashley Fires gives a lot.

P.S. G.G. Allin is a lot like Radiohead and Charles Bukowski for me. I think people say they like him because they need to be seen saying they like him. Personally I think that GiGi Allens the porn star can do a lot more good in the world.

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