Stoya finds cigarettes, pierogies in Philadelphia

I like Stoya because she reminds me of an Edward Gorey character with all the working parts Gorey himself wasn’t interested in. I also think she has a wonderful face, reminiscent of my Soviet forebears. I have recently begun a Stoya immersion program (it’s even better than you think) and talked with her via interweb technology at her home in South Philadelphia.

Gram: Why have you left me?

Stoya: I didn’t move to offend you personally. I lived in L.A. for a year a couple of years ago, but I wanted to get back to my friends in Philadelphia. I have locational ADD. If any landlords are watching, I’ll probably skip out on you in ten months or so.

Gram: The Man doesn’t read this website; only The People.

Stoya is in the two-disc DVD Cheerleaders. In the first disc she hangs by a locker and listens to the other girls talk dirty. In the second disc she reluctantly agrees to cheat on her boyfriend with Brianna Love and Manuel Ferrara.

Gram: There was some dramatic tension in Cheerleaders that you don’t normally see in porn movies. You were what the movie became about.

Stoya: Oh, I’d say Jesse Jane was the star. I think you’re biased.

Gram: Goddamn right I’m biased. But you knew what Jesse Jane would be up to through the whole movie. You had a character arc.

Stoya: Those girls had big breasts.

Gram: That they did. That also set you apart. You worked with the only other woman (Brianna Love) whose breasts wouldn’t put out your eye.

Stoya: I have breasts. They’re not humongous but they’re fine. They’ve done fine for me as an adult in her breeding years. But when they sit me next to a girl who’s 5’4″ and has a couple of Double Ds I feel like a gawky teenager.

Until her wireless signal ran out, Stoya led the computer on a guided tour of her neighborhood.

Gram: Do you eat Philadelphia cheese steaks?

Stoya: No. I’m not in a vegetarian phase right now, but all that meat still makes me sick. I like pierogies. And spinach nuggets.

Gram: What about California? We don’t really have pierogies here.

Stoya: Well, I like avocados. In fact, I love avocados.

Gram: I don’t suppose you can go to the beach. You look translucent on this Interweb device.

Stoya: I have to cake on a lot of SPF-50. I don’t care if I look like a jackass. I just don’t want to combust. My mother gave me three rules: As long as you don’t chew gum or stick anything in your butt you’ll remain a lady. Well, I don’t chew gum. Also: Don’t use heroin. Check. Finally: Stay out of the sun.

Gram: Prior to becoming Stoya of Digital Playground, what did you do, or has your previous existence been suppressed?

Stoya: I shot for GodsGirls.com and Razordolls.com, and I was a go-go dancer at clubs. It was like getting paid to work out while drunk. It was the best job. (Photo by Nikola Tamindzic)

Gram: What do you drink?

Stoya: Candy drinks and old man drinks. I like pomegranate schnapps. I could drink a whole bottle. And I used to walk into bars and slap my Marlboro Reds down on the bar and ask for whiskey. The bartender would say, “Really, Little Girl? Are you sure you’re not an 80-year-old man?”

Gram: Well are you?

Stoya: Fairly sure.

Gram: Because if you were an 80-year-old man, I’d be asking myself some hard questions. Pirates II just wrapped. I would have gone to the set but only a select few were invited.

Stoya: People talk about how massive an undertaking it was, but I was only there for a few days. I did get fisted by Belladonna, however, which was magical and amazing.

Gram: In terms of the big Digital Playground movies that are not about pirates, is there a pattern? What’s the next logical step in the sequence that goes from Babysitters to Cheerleaders to … ?

Stoya: They don’t tell me because they don’t want me leaking it, because I would. I don’t know. Librarians?

Gram: Not that I advocate MySpace (now that I have reached my early 20s I have settled down for a more Facebook sort of life), but is your MySpace blog really yours?

Stoya: At first it wasn’t, but now it’s all me. Someone was writing it for me. I had to say, “It hurts me to see someone writing with two Ts and eight exclamation points pretending they’re me.” So I do it now.

Gram: That’s greatt!!!!!!!! So, you’re staying in Philadelphia between movies?

Stoya: I even got a bus pass here.

Previously: Thomas Aquinas becomes Digital Playground contract saint; Stoya avoids labels; Jenny Hendrix keeps in touch; No Easter for Alix Lakehurst
See also: Stoya, Digital Playground