Street Walkers

Studio: Daring!
Director: Macondo
Cast: Melissa Black, George Uhl, Ian Scott,Priva, Mahe, Megane, Sarah, Oliver, Cage, J.J.

Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot

From the soulful Simply Red-esque synths backing up the main menu, I knew that this streetwalker movie wouldn’t be a feel-good hooker with a heart of gold flick or a character study of an irrepressible pixie who makes men feel better about themselves via her body’s shameless, sex-positive conduits. No, I knew there was something graver at work

Jan just got back to Prague and he calls his friends, telling each one that tomorrow night they are to search for some bitches. They find Priva, looking way too good for the corner she’s standing on (this is something people need to know about Prague).

She agrees to do Jan and his friend for 150 euros. They get back to Jan’s apartment and are hardly in the door before she takes them both on, not even bothering to take off her top.

Because she liked them so much she fucked them without condoms, it is easy to see why afterward she massages their semen into her buttocks.

But Jan is insatiable. All he wants to do during his time in Prague is fuck hookers with buddies. Ivana comes next; she charges 200 euros (I think it’s because she’s blonde).

The next day, his experiences having been so good and his desire to bond with his amigos over hookers so strong, Jan brings two other dudes with him to pick up a third street walker (Mahe, my favorite), who charges them 300 euros.

But by now, a sort of Paula Cole-ish “Party of Five” soundtrack is playing, leading this viewer to believe that the pathos implied by the DVD Menu has evaporated, or that director Macondo was just going through his music library looking for tracks that fit the scene length. Shocking.

Jan takes a break but then gets right back on it.

“I haven’t fucked for two days,” he says. “I’m full of sperm.”

Two guys this time. She makes a deal for 100 euros (so there goers my Blonde Is More Expensive theory).

At the end of the week Jan is exhausted. He has been drinking all night and a hooker familiar to him really gives him a hard sell. Despite wheedling her down to 100 euros and extracting promises from her that she will massage him and make him coffee, Jan still appears sluggardly and ungrateful. But he eventually musters some enthusiasm.

The gritty, rain-washed streets of Prague are beautiful, as are the hookers gritty, rain-washed, and beautiful. It was a let down to discover that the movie didn’t actually have the plot the music suggested, but it was still an excellent travelogue.

“Street Walkers” provides a fantastical portrait of securing hookers: they’re never as pretty and they never let three dudes ride them bareback. At least there wasn’t any kissing; that would have been a dealbreaker.

And I don’t know if the recent economic downturn has affected prostie prices, but the 850 euros Jan and friends spent converts to about $1100. Not a bad bargain. You can’t get a tray of appetizers at the Grand Lux for that little, much less a hooker.

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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