With a couple million YouTube hits for the trailer and a viral campaign that is a textbook example of the superfluity of porn publicists, it almost doesn’t matter if the low-budget (but for the yellow body spray) “Simpsons: The XXX Parody” is good or not. But don’t worry: This Ain’t the Montana Fishburne Sex Tape.
Studio: Full Spread Entertainment/Hustler
Director: Lee Roy Myers
Starring: Andy San Dimas, Briana Blair, Asia Zo, Evan Stone, James Deen, Anthony Rosano, Eddie Adams
A shady transaction is going down by the L.A. River. An uncredited (but, by the looks of him, Canadian) thug offers a crouching figure a doughnut in exchange for a videotape. The rest of the movie is a brightly-colored flashback to the making of that movie.
“Simpsons: The XXX Parody” features scenes between beloved American icons Homer (Anthony Rosano in POV stuntcock mode) and Marge (Andy San Dimas), McBain (Evan Stone) and his assistant (Briana Blair), and Moe (James Deen in the second-scratchiest performance, but at least San Dimas got a liquid ropey lozenge) and his realtor (Asia Zo).
Getting as close as possible to the original “Simpsons” Evergreen Terrace color palette, the walls are bright pastels and the actors have all been painted yellow.
Marge Simpson has always been a secret sexpot: Just look at “Colonel Homer” and “The Last Temptation of Homer” from the early seasons to see why her husband never strayed. Still, it is good the parody is just three scenes, because the novelty of a yellow San Dimas might wear off quicker than the paint. Kudos to the production, however, for choosing to paint Asia Zo even though she’s already Asian.
But for the pink parts, if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the movie. That is why I found the Behind the Scenes featurette more entertaining. Watching San Dimas and Briana Blair getting painted was very sexy, even as watching Eddie Adams mime Ned Flanders performing cunnilingus was not (although it was a bold comedic choice).
I’m sure you understand by now that a “Simpsons” porn parody had to be made, right? That monkey is not coming off Porn Valley’s back anytime soon. If it weren’t Lee Roy Myers making “Simpsons XXX,” it would have been a “Not The Simpsons” or “This Ain’t The Simpsons,” or “Not Quite The Simpsons,” and those thoughts make me shudder. No one but Myers would have demanded Marge and Mo be as laryngeally honest, and I’m fairly certain someone else would have cast Bartholet as Homer.
Buy “Simpsons: The XXX Parody” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Ponante shocked, pleased with “Facts of Life XXX” Academy Award nominations; Her Name Is Chastity for some reason
See also: Hustler
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