If 2 Live Crew met actual talent, they might have created a song like XL’s “Mean Bitches.”

Like a vampire, I was moving west down Ventura Blvd. when I got it into my head to survey the current state of Porn Lesbians.

2011′s most enduring porn photos….can 2012 measure up?

Bruce was a vile fellow who
Kept for a wife his left shoe
He’d slowly unlace her
Thern wildly debase her
And then stomp around in his goo.

Collective Unconscious does not refer to the types of guys who show up for gangbangs

“I don’t want you to be a porn girl,” Bobbi Starr says to Sparky SinClaire. “I want you to be a real girl.”

Ask not from whom to choose the nudes; it tolls for thee.

If Aiden Starr is past 21 and still showing up in “Barely Legal” movies, does that mean all those milves don’t have offspring waiting at home?

I call him Der Überagent

I would call “Beautiful Stranger” heartwarming save for that organ being several inches above where this movie most reverberated.

“This inhuman place makes human monsters” – Danny Torrance

Because porn performers are rarely recognized for their work, it seems fitting that this homespun-seeming garage band of an event reflects the quality of the average porn movie.

Today I came across (not literally) Miss Aileen Ghettman, a Score favorite from Marietta, Georgia. There is only one other porn person I’ve met from Marietta, Ashley Jane, and she looked like Miss Ghettman could eat her for lunch.

The movie gives us wholesome alternatives to overused terms of endearment like “You complete me,” “I feel safe with you,” and “Gram, you are my home and I will love you forever.”