“We get new girls all the time,” Jesse Jane says, “and I don’t feel anyone is my competition.”

Though marijuana is as much a part of the California lifestyle as drivebys and Disneyland, it is not for me.

“Grams,” she didn’t say, “At some moment in our future together it will be 113 degrees in L.A. Let’s use some ice.”

Every day I spend as America’s Beloved Porn Journalist is not all about irrumatio, nailed deadlines, and speedballs. There are some days that I must go home emptyhanded.

To watch Wankus tweaking about Jesus in the same way he would about Mika Tan three years ago, makes being born again look less like salvation than a more reputable box to put one’s craziness in.

I drink hot chocolate with all kinds of liquor in it and coffee with Bailey’s and Frangelico and vanilla vodka and nothing low-calorie.

Porn Valley is a cornucopia of tastes and smells, almost all water-based and pthalate-free. But what does the America’s Beloved Porn Journalist on a Budget do when he’s got four sets to cover in a day but doesn’t want to be limited to fast food? He eats what the porn stars eat. Like their better-financed [...]

As you well know, I am able to consume, process, and enjoy mass quantities of alcohol. With each glass, snifter, flagon, tankard, skin, or sadder-but-wiser stripper’s navel-full I become more charming and witty. In fact, I’m drunk now. But if Mary Carey’s appearance on “Sober House” has taught me anything, it is that only by [...]

I realize that only tiny pockets of my vast worldwide readership care about the mechanics of the porn world that doesn’t involve the women on camera, so the past few days’ coverage is only valuable to scholars, law enforcement officials, and the clergy. “Grams, are you saying that people will mill around a hotel and [...]

Where American porn tends to use the sound of lawnmowers outside the filming location as a prop, the Europeans (in this case, Cindy Dollar in a scene from Viv Thomas’ “Members Only 5″) often employ liquor cabinets. “A well-stocked bar is a sign of wealth and attracts naked women,” said Jean-Claude Parallelogramme, a spokesman for [...]

I like Stoya because she reminds me of an Edward Gorey character with all the working parts Gorey himself wasn’t interested in. I also think she has a wonderful face, reminiscent of my Soviet forebears. I have recently begun a Stoya immersion program (it’s even better than you think) and talked with her via interweb [...]

My AA sponsor says that I should be more concrete about things, and I chafe at this, you know, as an artist, but I console myself with the understanding that the subject of this post isn’t too on the nose (since it’s on her ass). Seriously, if Starbucks doesn’t recharge my and Aiden’s Starbuckscard for [...]

In that AC/DC is from Australia, I am prepared to give the prison colony a chance. But I realize that what we like in our hard-drinking, school uniform-wearing rock bands we mght not appreciate in its porn personalities. Only the convincingly-named Jenna Taylia in Aussie Fuck Fest: Canberra doesn’t fill me with memories of dried [...]

I attended last evening’s Night of 101 Girls and found it pretty O.K. There seemed to be no occasion for the party, other than I recently got my hair cut, but sponsors L.A. Direct Models, Vivid, Skinnie Magazine, and Effen Vodka nevertheless put on a brave face and threw a party anyway. Read more after [...]