There may be those who disagree with my calling Alexis Texas zaftig, as if I’m trying to call her fat, but I’m not. Zaftig means juicy, goddammit, and Texas is juicy.
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Nudes you may have missed
Over the centuries I have tried to find just the right way to compile the miscellaneous porn pictures I photograph myself, receive, or post elsewhere. Longtime readers of this site will fondly recall the discontinued “Best of Inbox Nudes,” “Picture of the Week,” and “Just Because” series. Here, then, is the apex of that art [...]
BDSM
Of the “Slutty And Sluttier,” who is the sluttiest?
…vigorous, slap-happy sex that never blurs the line between fighting and fucking…
gallery
“Superman XXX”: Andy San Dimas kneels before Zoe, Zod
Andy San Dimas fucks the entire surviving citizenry of the planet Krypton in Axel Braun’s “Superman XXX,” which makes her a shoo-in for next year’s Best Interspecies Gangbang award.
art
The 2010 Ropey Volley Awards—Pictures of the Year
As I’ve been led to understand, pornography is a visual medium.
art
I Was There: A Short History of the Greatest Photograph Ever Taken
“Thank you everyone,” I said, wiping away a tear (oh god i hope it was a tear). “I think we made history this morning.”
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Browneye vs. The Board of Masturbation: “Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman”
“It’s confusing, I know,” said Alexis Texas recently. “But(t) I became Buttwoman, I think, because that’s the first thing people notice about me.”
“Only from behind,” I said.
Today in Porn Valley
MontagFoto 7.19.10
Was Alexis Texas sad that I didn’t talk about her ass or boobs? If so, she didn’t let on, and hid her big round tears.
business
eXXXotica adult show comes to Los Angeles: I get to go to the Pantry again
Could the advent of a fresh and sassy new adult consumer show signal a turnaround for the porn industry or might I be retarded?
BDSM
OSHA: Spanking Kayden Kross improves workplace morale
Today’s porn fans will put up with a lot for their three minutes of satisfaction 40 times a day: but never try to tell them that it’s easy to get a job.
Today in Porn Valley
XRCO Awards 2010: But it’s our clusterfuck
Because porn performers are rarely recognized for their work, it seems fitting that this homespun-seeming garage band of an event reflects the quality of the average porn movie.
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“This Ain’t Star Trek 2 XXX: The Butterfly Effect” or “This Ain’t ‘Wrath of Khan,’ either”
All I wanted from this NC(C)-17(01) adaptation of “Star Trek 2″ was that the Ricardo Montalban character not be called “Khunt.”
business
Best of 2009: Kagney Linn Karter is Best Newcomer by any means necessary
The KLK sees the value of ambition and hard work, but adds that “a little love goes a long way.”
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Right up the middle with Alexis Texas
Alexis Texas proves that moderation is key in all things, particularly in haunch position. Take a look at The KLK, Texas, and Liliane Tiger and their respective ass positions in “Unseasoned Players,” “Buttwoman Returns,” and “Ass Fukt” and you will see that the savvy Texas neither sticks her ass high in the air nor makes [...]
Today in Porn Valley
Today in porn swag: Self-portrait with Lisa Ann
It’s so important to employ nudity on porn sites, as opposed to the picture, below, that originally topped this post. Here I am at Gram Ponante Towers, Apothecary, Helipad, Mosque, Apiary, and Lozengerie with my new Lisa Ann mask, sent to promote Hustler’s “You’re Nailin’ Palin” interactive title. As you can see, the mask comes [...]
reviews
2040
Studio: WickedDirector: Brad ArmstrongCast: Alektra Blue, Randy Spears, jessica drake, Kaylani Lei, Mikayla Mendez, Kirsten Price, Marcus London, Brad Armstrong, Jayden Jaymes, Kayla Carrera, Barrett Blade, Tommy Gunn, Eric Masterson, Alexis Texas, Rocco Reed, Tory Lane, Janet Mason, Mick Blue, Jerry, TJ Cummings, Bill Bailey It is 2040 and sex with humans just isn’t safe. [...]
Uncategorized
Alexis Texas – just because
Did you know that Alexis Texas is actually from Texas? Not like that bitch Gretchen New Hampshire. That cheap skank is from New Hampshire. Anyway, Alexis Texas was walking out and I was walking in, and this is exactly how she looked while doing so. Accessible, approachable, and absolutely not from New Hampshire. I hope [...]
Uncategorized
Monique Alexander vs. Shelly Long: Bull & Finch not bait & switch
When you’re right, you’re right. Monique Alexander does not look like Shelly Long. But for New Sensations’ porn adaptation of “Cheers,” producers felt that Alexander possessed the spirit of Diane Chambers should that character be a porn star. While Vivid is touting new contract performer AJ Bailey as “the smartest girl in porn” for her [...]
reviews
The Five
Studio: Adam & EveDirector: Andre MadnessCast: Bree Olson, Alexis Texas, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Shyla Stylez, Johnny Sins, Mr. Pete, James Deen, Scott Nails, Danny Mountain Portions of this review also appeared on Fleshbot Just so you know, “The Five” is not about some elite crimefighting team, unless the crime is not having an opportunity [...]
geekery
Hustler XXX XXXI
It is so explicit, in fact, that there appears to be a dollop of splooge coating the 31.
Narcissism
Social Network Disease