Abby Winters’ Intimate Moods: Now with a duck

Australia’s Abby Winters Pornographic Concern again presents a vaguely-titled study in corn-(or whatever grains they eat over there)fed women masturbating while bird sound effects co-mingle with their sploshing and grunting: “Intimate Moods.” As you know, I’m into beaks, so naturally I tore into this DVD when I saw the duck on the cover. Needless to…

2008 in Review: Most in need of a creative consultant

Abby Winters I award because I love. These fleshy Sapphic Australians squish and frot together with their armpit hair, belly rolls, tribal tattoos, Linda Koslowski aspirations, Lord of the Rings-adjacent accents, mannish underpants, flushed cheeks, natural breasts, and an amazing ability to pick the most boring titles ever.Hidden Desires? It sounds like a Skinemax movie…

Livingston Taylor at the Wombat Room

Lou-Ellyn is not dead; she’s just bored with the title of the movie she’s in. I reviewed Abby Winters.com’s masturbation epic Intimate Temptations for the website Fleshbot and can’t stop thinking about it. What kind of name for a porn movie is Intimate Temptations? It sounds like a cookie store at the mall. A porn…

Abby Winters: Oi my aching back

I imagine the women of Australia’s Abby Winters studio blithely masturbating themselves into a Girls Only/sex positive stupor as outside dingos eat their babies and Jane Campion lurks with a camera, trying to capture them peeing. But I had trouble with the boxcover copy for their latest movie, Real Girls, Real Orgasms: Twelve Australian amateur…

It’s not bestiality if the cow seems interested

A friend from Australia hipped me to Melbourne’s Digital Media Street Festival, running from June 20-27. The festival will feature “Erotic by Nature,” a series of photos of nudes outdoors. If you go, let me know. (As you know, “QANTAS” is an acronym for Queensland And Northern Territory Aerial Services, in case you thought the…

Girls Loving Girls (but filmed by girl-loving guys)

Just today I learned definitively, despite the direct and contradicting quote from its star, that the story behind a celebrity sex tape I’d reviewed was a fib. “Does the story even matter?” sputtered the celebrity’s handlers. “Yes, in that people will buy an otherwise unremarkable DVD because of the story you used to sell it,”…

Girls Loving Girls – mini review

Studio: Abby WintersDirector: ?Cast: Jamie Lee, Em, Violet Review by special correspondent Larry Smathers This chick-on-chick flick comes from Australia and is produced by Abby Winters who runs a site featuring young well-scrubbed Aussie girls, all of whom frolic together like they’ve just come back from a volleyball match with the Indigo Girls. This is…

Cultural learnings of the Abby Winters girls

Prior to today I had never heard of Abby Winters or the women in her employ. But when I happened upon several grain-fed, exuberant, barefoot Australian girls frolicing on a rolling expanse of Astroturf, I realized something had been wrong with my life beforehand. Seriously wrong. I immediately began pumping them for information, as it’s…

You better run, you better take cover

In that AC/DC is from Australia, I am prepared to give the prison colony a chance. But I realize that what we like in our hard-drinking, school uniform-wearing rock bands we mght not appreciate in its porn personalities. Only the convincingly-named Jenna Taylia in Aussie Fuck Fest: Canberra doesn’t fill me with memories of dried…

Products for your down under from down under

I recently returned from Australia, the land my forebears colonized, where I visited Byron Bay’s Black Label Adult Shop, a luxury sex toy retailer positioning itself as not only that hemisphere’s largest purveyor of high class adult goods but also as a global luxury brand. I spoke with co-founder Bliss, who told me the website…