Stoya: Pastie but not forgotten
It was a different, more innocent time. “Hi, I’m Stoya. And you’re reading Porn Valley Observed, you lucky bastard.”
avn08
AVN ’09: It has begun
The Sands Convention Center is once again hosting both AVN and CES on the same days, a change from recent years in which CES started […]
Shocker: Some Pornorazzi hated
“They stand there. They get in the way. They gawk. You can hear them breathing.” As Santa Ana winds and a tightening ring of fire […]
Belladonna and Jenna Haze to usher in Year of The Ass at 2009 AVN Awards
It seems like only a week has passed since I finally finished running stories about the 2008 AVN Awards (at which another Jenna daintily crossed […]
AVN Awards 2008: Reliving the dream
The AVN Awards show gets bigger every year, and this January the event was covered by Showtime, which is getting chummier and chummier with the […]
On the road with Alix Lakehurst
“It’s a fantasy of mine to be a fantasy of someone else’s,” said Alix Lakehurst, a Chicago porn actress who is a throwback to a […]
Stoya avoids labels
I took a few hundred pictures at the AVN convention, and also handed my camera around to various lowlifes. I have finally labeled most of […]
AVN Wrap-up: I will never spread my commentary on the 2008 AEE again
“I will never spread my legs in this industry again” – Jenna Jameson
The Prime of Miss Jean Jacobs or: Would I lie to you, Honey? or: De Jean Vu
The reason that there is no Oscar presented for Best New Starlet is because novelty is not as important in Hollywood as it is in […]
AVN: The only numbers you can trust
Suite number of the party at which Satine Phoenix was naked: 211
Temperature of that room, in fahrenheit degrees: 102
Jenna Jameson and the future of the porn superstar
When the one person who stands a chance of refuting the belief that porn stars are interchangeable and anonymous says, “I’ll never spread my legs […]
Sunny Leone on gravity
I asked Sunny Leone about adhesives, as is my wont. “There’s no tape,” she said. “So you have to keep walking, moving forward constantly, to […]
Who knew this would happen?
At the Fashionistas party the other night a woman innocently took her breasts out and began fondling them. Then a bunch of photographers showed up. […]
Shocker: Green Novelties models are not Kiss
1. They don’t look like Kiss2. There’s only three of them3. They’re not the most overrated band until Radiohead4. They look like you might want […]
Fucking Huge Cocks are the windows to the soul
What makes the hundreds of porn starlets cavorting through the Sands Expo Center so distinct from one another, even though they may be wearing the […]
Cultural learnings of the Abby Winters girls
Prior to today I had never heard of Abby Winters or the women in her employ. But when I happened upon several grain-fed, exuberant, barefoot […]
Lux Kassidy: Metalhead
Walking through the Venetian lobby I tried to heed the advice I gleaned from porn personalities while writing this article, such as never try to […]
Today’s fung-fu grip (tie)
Gianna and Nikita Denise shared today’s Strongest Handshake award at a quiet ceremony that didn’t involve manual stimulation of anything with fewer than five digits […]
"They’re coming"
Meet Melrose Foxxx. Although this is her second AVN convention, she is still a little overwhelmed when the outside doors open and the fans come […]
AVN Expo guides help to focus your drool
Princess Diana might have chosen to call it a minefield, but I call the AVN Expo a delightful collagen dessert with fans as the gelatin […]