So much better than “Filthy Fellating Fetuses.”

“I agree that there is a lot of pusssy, but surely that can’t be all that’s down here. Hold on—I’ll check.”

I defy you to tell me why switching the boxcovers of “Gangbang Extreme Teens” and “Fuck the Babysitter” would make a damn bit of difference.

…because your tongue is occupied

The boxcover for “Tosh Porn Oh” now conforms to the high standards porn audiences demand.

I imagine those Chinese county administrators would have had a much better time in France.

All the arachnids on Klendathu couldn’t convince me that Sophia Sutra’s pussy isn’t worth citizenship.

All that uncertainty is right there in the photo. It is as if all the Doobies had watched their daughters go black and were shaken by the experience.

Everyone knows that spread legs are a woman’s way of saying “impregnate me and tie me to the Earth.”

“If any of these women appear in an anal scene in just one more movie, consumers will know their anuses haven’t been annihilated and will want their money back.”

Vivid releases gonzo bathing suit line, suggests all porn is a lie; Digital Sin makes my testicles recede; Jamye Waxman confirms I have a great face for radio; Ryan Keely shows admirable restraint by not mentioning Narfs

Fuentes is a very nice person, as well as a better dresser than Steven Tyler.

I often tell my parishioners that saying sorry doesn’t mean anything if evidence of the crime is hanging out of the same hole the apology is coming from.

If you are not familiar with this series from Pink Visual, it features scripted (but it’s easy to forget) vignettes of predatory couples prowling parking lots for innocent teens to debase. It feels real to me.