Vivid releases gonzo bathing suit line, suggests all porn is a lie; Digital Sin makes my testicles recede; Jamye Waxman confirms I have a great face for radio; Ryan Keely shows admirable restraint by not mentioning Narfs
Today in Porn Valley
Pornollaneous 7.29.10
Fuentes is a very nice person, as well as a better dresser than Steven Tyler.
geekery
I think this nice Spanish lady is going to masturbate with a defused nuclear warhead
This is the only conclusion I can come up with from the boxcover, other than “I’ve always hated Whit Stillman.”
Today in Porn Valley
You can’t apologize with a cock in your mouth
I often tell my parishioners that saying sorry doesn’t mean anything if evidence of the crime is hanging out of the same hole the apology is coming from.
new porn daily
The Power of the Dawn of Man seduces you
If you are not familiar with this series from Pink Visual, it features scripted (but it’s easy to forget) vignettes of predatory couples prowling parking lots for innocent teens to debase. It feels real to me.
Uncategorized
Asians, teens, and interracial porn: What boxcovers tells us about the audience
I will be speaking at the International Conference on Creampies and the Fisting Arts (ICCFA) next week at the Hague and have brought some visual aids. My keynote, “Eat My Dick: A Gestaltist Perspective” focuses on the way certain niches are presented in boxcovers and the implicit assumptions made about the intended audience. For example, [...]
new porn daily
Boxcover of the Week: Swallow the yellow thick load, Dorothy
There is a lot of self-righteous hand-wringing lately about depictions of the tender black/white relationships found in interracial porn and, while no one bats an eye that every non-matriculated New Sensations performer is pictured in the same plaid schoolgirl skirt (with tie), somehow they choose to believe that depictions of all black men as thugs [...]
new porn daily
Boxcover of the Week: I Can’t Believe You Sucked A Negro 3
As you know, the Journal of Invented Statistics reported that 97.3 percent of DVD sales came as a result of boxcover photos alone. That is why each boxcover must pack in as much information as possible. Chatsworth Pictures’ I Can’t Believe You Sucked A Negro 3 tells us several things right off the gat, as [...]
Uncategorized
The Remains of the Pussy, or Cuntum of Phallus
As part of my relentless crusade for justice, I submit to you the boxcover of Viv Thomas’ Pussies on View 2. Notice anything specifically not on view? By comparison, both the Merchant-Ivory picture A Room with a View and the Roger Moore-era James Bond movie A View to a Kill have a view and a [...]
Abby Winters: Oi my aching back
I imagine the women of Australia’s Abby Winters studio blithely masturbating themselves into a Girls Only/sex positive stupor as outside dingos eat their babies and Jane Campion lurks with a camera, trying to capture them peeing. But I had trouble with the boxcover copy for their latest movie, Real Girls, Real Orgasms: Twelve Australian amateur [...]
Covers of the week: The prehensile ass of Kiki Vidis
According to the Department of Invented Statistics, 98 percent of porn titles are bought on the basis of cover art alone (that’s why the designer Alaska is very important to Vivid-steve). Here are four boxcovers of movies I received this week that spoke to me personally. Clockwise from top left: Red Light District’s Toe Service [...]
Narcissism
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