Photoplay: What they’re thinking over in couples’ porn
“I don’t watch much couples’ porn, and have not seen a Penthouse movie in a while,” I said to myself, “so why not broaden my goddamn horizons?”
couples
Couples: Never use “Rape!” as a safeword
Are Sexual How To videos featuring porn stars useful, or are they a porn equivalent of pygmy boobs in National Geographic? A lesson that the world does not revolve around Gram.
California Adventure: “Oasis”
In the middle of the California desert, beautiful women frolic on sensual furniture. We wonder: Who took the rest of their stuff? But then we think: If they’re happy, we’re happy.
Why “The Friend Zone” is more perilous than “The Twilight Zone”
Any poor shmoe can tell you that there is nothing more lonely than being loved “like a friend.” Follow hapless Anthony Rosano as he tries to break free of “The Friend Zone” in this excellent couples’ film from New Sensations.
Stormy’s “Blow” also refers to cocaine
“I doubt everyone,” says trophy wife/drug moll Stormy. It’s because she hasn’t yet learned to love herself.
Stormy Daniels: Hookers can be duplicitous [review]
Suspend your disbelief for a moment and try to imagine a world in which prostitutes can be unethical
I have no sympathy for you, Brad Armstrong
Brad Armstrong learns the value of fucking women his own age by enjoying the living shit out fucking women half his age. This is what anthropologists call a Fake Brag.
“Top Guns”: Finally a heteroerotic movie about planes
Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, Kayden Kross, and Stoya all look so good in those flight suits that they would turn Kelly McGillis into a lesbian.
Grieving Widow Porn: “A Little Part of Me”
“A Little Part of Me” is porn for people who like scented candles.
“Drenched in Love”: Warrant song or Wicked movie?
The couples in this movie are very attractive, as is their genuine positive regard for each other. That said, the “not based on actual events” disclaimer at the end is disquieting: does this mean real couples can’t be drenched in love?
Nyomi Banxxx IS The Babysitter
That the two older women find out about the other’s dalliances and how they resolve their anger is a great bonus; it underlines the fact that we really can fuck our way out of problems that were caused by fucking.
Eating Out Kirsten Price: “Dinner at Frankie’s”
Maybe the girls don’t all look like Kirsten Price, Kaylani Lei, and Alektra Blue where you live, but you will recognize their characters in “Dinner at Frankie’s,” and that’s what makes this movie special.
Today in couples’ porn: “Suck It Bitch”
The movie gives us wholesome alternatives to overused terms of endearment like “You complete me,” “I feel safe with you,” and “Gram, you are my home and I will love you forever.”
Excuse Movie of the Week: Hearts And Minds II
“Beyond courage, beyond honor, we find our hearts and minds.” Thus begins the boxcover copy for New Sensations’ sequel to Hearts & Minds, starring Ashlynn […]
Porn channels Gary Numan or: Here in my Carmen Hart, I feel safest of all
This is what I’m not saying: I hate couple’s porn. What I am saying is that a lot of couples’ porn seems to scale back […]
Report: Andrew Blake even capitalizes the word "Film" when speaking
Since it is well-known that erectile tissue does not function at its best without a good basis in grammar, it was interesting to see that […]