What the L.A. Times teaches us about porn

People who – for whatever reason – are constant readers of adult industry news should not blame the L.A. Times for publishing the umpteenth article about how the economic downturn has affected Porn Valley. Not everyone has the free time to lurk on adult messageboards all day, where this subject is old news. The article…

Lisa Ann prepares for The Quickening

A quote in a recent press release made me suspicious that Lisa Ann might be an Immortal, prone to lopping off the heads of her rivals in white-hot parking lot showdowns. The occasion was Teravision’s American MILF 2: Enter the Cougar, in which director Evan Seinfeld/Spyder Jonez says of Lisa Ann, “She is perhaps the…

Pornic Voices: Suitcase Trannies

Two conversations I had today with porn luminaries reminded me that this is an interesting business to be in. But before I tell you what they were, a definition. Suitcase Pimp: A pejorative term for a man whose interest in his porn star girlfriend/wife eclipses his understanding that they are actually different people. The term…

Tera Patrick’s Twilight Zone

“The couple should start by kissing each other as they normally do,” suggests Tera Patrick in her new Playboy TV instructional show, School of Sex. “Look for the clitoris and stimulate it. Deborah, enjoy this pleasure.” Tera is the Rod Serling of this effort. She introduces couples’-friendly segments on three-ways and sensual massage, etc. which…

Tera Patrick: The new black

Camelot has returned. Once a nation was charmed when Jackie Kennedy threw open the doors of the White House. Today our hearts leap up anew as Tera Patrick shows us her pink version. (That is also one of my most treasured pickup lines: “Please show me your pink version.”) Tera Patrick spirits us around her…

Tera Patrick: "I want world domination"

“I never set out to be the world’s most famous pussy,” Tera Patrick said. Tera Patrick is all over Las Vegas this week. Dueling billboards on either side of Interstate 15 advertise her presence at both a Friday party at Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce and at Saturday’s AVN Awards. Her Friday event competes with Jenna…

Tera’s Christmas Presence, or: Stairway to Evan Seinfeld

Close Personal Friend TM Tera Patrick displays one of several jewel-encrusted Hello Kitty doodads she received from fans for Christmas. “I even have a Hello Kitty toaster,” she said. Patrick is co-hosting the 25th annual AVN Awards on January 12. I asked her how she was preparing. “I hike Nichols Canyon early in the morning,”…