When Kristina Rose sticks up her middle finger, she’s sticking it up her vagina

I would be happy to impregnate Lisa Ann for a modest fee so that her next MILF movie is an honest one.

Because it is Presidents’ Week, I am remembering my visit to the set of “Here Cums the President.”

If you present a persona that he wants to dive into like a heated swimming pool, Miss X, he will come in your mouth with very little effort on your part.

This movie suggests that presidents George Washington, Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton were unfaithful to their wives.

“When I started,” she said, “there was no such thing as a MILF. That job didn’t exist in porn.”

“I’m gonna put my fuckin’ babies in your troat.”

“Fly Girls” was so good I actually gave it to my friend for his birthday. If I had given him “Flight Attendants,” he would no longer be my friend.

“Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin” is a much better franchise reboot than Edward Norton’s “The Incredible Hulk.”

I look forward to watching this movie but, contrary to what you might assume from the boxcover, neither Bree Olson nor Kayden Kross has sex with a horse.

Cytherea, like Babe Ruth, could point to a surface across the room and splatter it with labia-guided girldollops.

It’s so important to employ nudity on porn sites, as opposed to the picture, below, that originally topped this post. Here I am at Gram Ponante Towers, Apothecary, Helipad, Mosque, Apiary, and Lozengerie with my new Lisa Ann mask, sent to promote Hustler’s “You’re Nailin’ Palin” interactive title. As you can see, the mask comes [...]

Next week I am attending the filming of Hustler’s porn parody “This Ain’t Happy Days XXX 2: Fonzie Luvs Pinky.” You ask, “Grams, when will this crazy joyride of diminishing returns flogging a dead horse stop?” (Especially since it was Leather Tuscadero, and not Pinky, who was the exciting one, as everyone knows.) But with [...]

Director: Brian Bangs, Spock BucktonCast: Ron Jeremy, Joanna Angel, Tori Black, Anthony Rosano, Ben English, Francesca Le, Faye Reagan, Mr. Pete, Dane Cross, Kagney Linn Karter, Chris Johnson, Anne Marie Rios, Randy Spears, Andi Anderson, Mark Wood, Rocco Reed, Brynn Tyler, James Deen, Lisa Ann, Darryl Hanah If there has ever been a perfect confluence [...]