Der Verspanken: Sie brauchen nicht eine Beziehung mit einer Frau zu bilden
Der VerSpanken: Any marital aid that has a German name is all right by me, because I’m racist that way, and I know the Germans mean business.
marital aids
How Fleshlight protects your feelings, and my journey as America’s Greatest Sex Toy Reviewer
Unless the toy is for a part of your person you just can’t get at, like the prostate, or in the case that one has tiny Tyrannosaurus hands, most male-oriented sex toys just add complexity. What type of person wants to add complexity?
Noname Jane becomes dessert, Bozzio and Coolio share stage at Exotic Erotic Ball
I am not, like many of my colleagues, a Clinical Sexologist, so I don’t really know the difference between Erotic and Exotic, especially in the […]
Balls over America
Sometimes Ladies ask me about vaginal products. “Grams, what are Ben Wa Balls?” Well, imagine the Starlite Mints or hard candies your grandmother gave you, […]
Couch mit Vaginabilder und Gesäß
My German isn’t that great, but I wanted to let you know that the couch is itself a vibrating ass and pussy. See also: I’ll […]
O Awards honor things, not people, that fuck people
This week’s Adult Novelty Expo at the Sheraton Universal culminates with the first (annual?) O Awards Tuesday night. The awards will honor companies and products […]
Does Cyberskin April Flores dream of electric sheep?
I have never had a problem with replicants, cyborgs, or other sentient machines sharing a buffet table with me because, if anything, I don’t want […]
Lystra leashed and April Flores’ Impossible Dream
Artist and porn performer Zak Sabbath has created this painting of April Flores taking Lystra for a walk. He has titled it “Judge And Fool.” […]
The Undulabulous life of April Flores
Sometimes when watching a porn movie I think the actress might break. I look at her ribs and, sometimes, the little carved out area where […]
Today in Blowjobs: Porn is not an assisted living facility
It is well-documented that older people have sex. Even in the Bible, the Virgin Mary’s cousin Elizabeth conceived a child in her old age (Luke […]
Into the ducts with Allanah Starr’s mouth or: Fun with sex toys if you don’t want to put your cock in them
Good for transsexual porn star Allanah Starr: it is a big thing to have a marital aid made from a mold of one’s parts; it […]
Gram’s Sticky LettersTM
Whether or not this will be a recurring feature I don’t know. I guess it depends 0n you. Dear Grams, Last night my spouse and […]
Nikki Benz to reward simulated fellatio, as if that’s good
The Screaming O, a collection of marital aids marketed out of the adult playground of Torrance, CA, will be presenting its third annual Go Down […]
Gram’s Christmas Miracle
“You could say this splurge is a result of a negro’s splooge,” I said to the Zacatecan migrant worker who lashed the 12-ft. spruce to my Hummer 3. He smiled mysteriously.
SHOCKING: Sex store catches flak for its "Adopt A Child" program
Sinless Touch, a Kansas-based adult e-tailer specializing in today’s brand of couples’-friendly adult products, reports that it has received criticism for a portal on its […]
In the Flesh wants your sex
“George Bailey, do you ever get tired of just reading about things?” says local sassypants Violet Bick in “It’s A Wonderful Life.” That’s the way […]
Swiss offer no resistance
Must be the cheese. (Thanks to Mchael Brandvold of porn emporium Gamelink for forwarding the picture. See a larger version here.) Previously: It’s what’s for […]
Tommy Gunn casts the first bone
Porn is not a 9 to 5 job, and in addition to the extra-curricular activities associated with being a porn star (mentoring, celebrity golf tournaments, […]
Sexuality show to eschew facial sexuality
LoveLA is the latest adult consumer novelty/sensuality expo to be unveiled in a crowded novelty/sensuality expo market. The debut event will be held January 27 […]
The Butt Wax has exploded, or: shoving trans fats up your ass
Every day I receive boxes of excellent adult products that I mention on my global network of sites in reviews, casual allusions, paid advertising, or […]