“…so many people (who don’t write porn) talk about how easy it is to write a porn script…”

Any poor shmoe can tell you that there is nothing more lonely than being loved “like a friend.” Follow hapless Anthony Rosano as he tries to break free of “The Friend Zone” in this excellent couples’ film from New Sensations.

“I agree that there is a lot of pusssy, but surely that can’t be all that’s down here. Hold on—I’ll check.”

“They’re stunning and sensational, sexy and insatiable/You’ll watch them all the time,” goes the theme song for “The Flintstones: A XXX Parody.” But will I watch them all the time?

…the “Sex & the City” parody is much more satisfying than the original show, which left me feeling guilty after each viewing because I always wanted to shoot certain characters in the face.

“I had to diversify my portfolio,” Myers said, “and that had to include at least partial ownership of the projects I put together.”

Every day I spend as America’s Beloved Porn Journalist is not all about irrumatio, nailed deadlines, and speedballs. There are some days that I must go home emptyhanded.

The Coen Brothers’ original is a beloved movie that is full of pornish tie-ins already: Now Tom Byron as The Dude will carry a storyline involving stolen porn VHS tapes “that really tied his collection together.”

Because I had forgotten about gay icon Alan Ball’s bayou vampire saga “Tru Blood,” I naturally assumed New Sensations’ porn parody “Tru” was about Robert Morse’s bravura performance as gay icon Truman Capote.

In a very real way, all porn is good. But the following titles were better.

This is a business like any other. It’s what people not working in porn don’t seem to understand about it.

“Women likes vampires because they’re sexy,” said Brooke.

If you Trust No One other than me, you really should see “The Sex Files.” You’ll believe – in your pants!!!!

For a few glorious weeks, New Sensations’ “X Files” fan fiction porno went by the name of the original show, with the subtitle “A Dark XXX Parody.” A grateful nation breathed a sigh of relief, delighted that the easy bait of “The Sex Files” wouldn’t s(c)ully anyone’s impression of Porn Valley as a creative vacuuum. [...]