What the L.A. Times teaches us about porn

People who – for whatever reason – are constant readers of adult industry news should not blame the L.A. Times for publishing the umpteenth article about how the economic downturn has affected Porn Valley. Not everyone has the free time to lurk on adult messageboards all day, where this subject is old news. The article…

BBW alarmists: lighten up

Something about this week made me long for the rich taste of a Wendy’s Baconator, and I have been passed out atop a pile of their wrappers for the last several days. In an AVN story about how BBW (Big, Beautiful Women) titles are catching on with consumers, writer Nelson X wrote a hilarious but,…

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Matthew, Mark, “Throat,” and johns

It’s Holy Week at Vivid, and Paul Thomas and Sasha Grey have at least 75 percent of the Gospels wrapped up. I’m sure it is the deepest hope of many people connected to individuals in the Porno-Industrial Complex that their loved ones throw down their Fleet enemas, designer lubes, and pthalate-free inflatable Pamela Peakses in…

Microsoft unveils "My First Porn Article" software

Redmond, WA (GP:PVO) — Software giant Microsoft today launched the Porn Article template for its Microsoft Word application. The template contains all the elements standard to anyone’s first article about the porn industry, including the writer’s general skittishness, Paul Thomas, fist-shaking at the Internet, the word “dire,” blanket acceptance of a quote about how much…