The buttoned-down Ava Rose

Since it’s only April and the heat is already at record-breaking levels here in Porn Valley, what better way to celebrate the slow roasting of the oceans than to talk with Alaska’s own Ava Rose, contract star for Adam & Eve and, if there could be a contract star of the pants, well, there too.…

Gram on the Couch

I will be at Sardo’s Bar tonight for Tony Batman’s (weekly?) Casting Couch Comedy Show from 8-10 p.m. I will be performing something very special. Previously: A coming of age storySee also: Sardo’s Bar, Tony Batman

Podcast: "I Jerked Off Instead"

Now and then a recording artist comes along who single(handed)ly captures the zeitgeist. Such is the case with Fogelfoot, whose “I Jerked Off Instead” is probably the most important song of the 21st century. Hear it in the podcast.

Podcast: Smells like Jenna Jameson

The Leading Lady of the Lubed Labe is leaving to pursue perfumery. To my knowledge, no one has talked about her new career choice, focusing only on Ms. Jameson’s method of jettisoning the old one. Here’s the shtick I’ll use when I cross the picket line and talk about Porn Valley on Leno: Directions for…

Masturbation habits of the clergy

This week’s podcast presents sexuality in a fun, dignified, and beautiful way. Oh wait. This week’s podcast expertly breaks down the AVN nominations, thoughtfully examines masturbation trends among the holy, and gives birthday shoutouts to Herschel Savage, Brooke Haven, Ed Powers, and myself. Hear it here.

The Porner’s Almanac: Stop your sobbing

This week I talk about how it is physically impossible to masturbate while weeping. Masturbate effectively, I mean. I also talk about what chatroom buffoons have in common with ch*ld p*rn*graphers. Check it out here.

"We don’t need to involve the authorities"

This week’s Porner’s Almanac deals with the Midwest’s recent decision on 2257 statutes as well as what I think is a fine piece oof improvisational acting between Otto Bauer and Dana DeArmond. I also talk about teens and the adults who portray them in porn films. Check it out here.

Don’t Hate: Inflate!

This week’s podcast deals with my adventures with a blow-up ladyboy and with my woeful conflict resolution skills. Listen to it or you’re not one of us.

Notes on Skullfucking

This week’s podcast tackles this oft-confused issue, positing among other things that people who skullfuck probably never use the construction “oft-“ Check out The Porner’s Almanac here.

Podcast Week 5: Jazm And Tanks

This week’s podcast title sounds like an 80’s buddy crime show. He’s a genius ex-cop with muscular dystrophy and a secret (other than the muscular dystrophy, which is pretty obvious); she’s a hooker with a heart of gold and a plate in her head. Together they solve crimes from their laundromat in sleepy Bogue Chitto,…

Porner’s Almanac – week four

You might not appreciate the tremendous learning curve this podcast represents. There’s turning the computer on. There’s saying stuff into it. I should get a MacArthur Foundation Genius Grant. This week I employ T. Rex technology in talking about squirting. Listen to it here.

Porner’s Almanac – week two

This week’s Porner’s Almanac podcast concerns the sleight-of-boob antics of Jenna Jameson and Mattel’s selective persecution of China Barbie. The delightful Joanna Cachapero of XBiz wrote an article about last week’s podcast launch and I entertained the notion of taking myself seriously, like everyone else who hires a secretary in this business and sends out…